(Closed) How out of line would you consider this to be? In-law issues

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. She’s a grandmother…

But for the record, how long was your skirt?

Post # 4
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it is out of line at all, she thought your skirt was too short and she wanted to address the issue.

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t consider it out of line but sure is awkward.  I guess she thought it might be better coming from your FI than her but wanted to make it clear she would say something next time.  Was the skirt too short? 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5549 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Well… how short was the skirt? Honestly, if you were wearing one of those “could be a belt or a mini skirt” kind of skirts in front of his grandma, I would just not wear short skirts around her again. Chalk it up to generational differences. If it was just a normal, not to your knees skirt, and she had an issue with it, then have your FH tell her that you are an adult and can pick your own clothes. Though if you know she would have an issue with something, unless you see her all the time, just avoid wearing what she would consider potentially skimpy skirts around here. 

Post # 7
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well considering she’s grandma I wouldn’t think anything of it.

I’m kinda biased to this one though b/c my involvement with the non-profit my mom started for girls. There’s a pretty strict dress code (that yes I fought tooth & nail at first about.. but now find myself pretty uncomfortable otherwise)

We’ve had to tell girls and MIL about things they wore to the house.. ie. My sons b/day party and such when she wore strappy tanks that were pretty low

But like I said I’m kinda biased….. I think that she was just being grandma, as they seem to get pretty set in their ways. lol

Post # 8
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Doesn’t seem out of line at all to me – especially if your skirt really was on the short side.  Grandma had an issue with what she saw and wanted to make her feelings known.  She tried to do it in a more tactful way than just calling you out for your short skirt.

Post # 9
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think it’s any of Grandma’s business unless you had the short skirt on accompanying her to church or some event where your attire could be considered a reflection on her.  Then again, that’s kind of what Grandmas do so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  But yes, it would annoy me. 

Post # 10
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It really depends on the length of the skirt.  The last time I was in SFO this girl was walking in front of me & my Dad and her skirt was so short we could see her buttcheeks.  If you skirt was that short and you were in front of his Grandma at some sort of family gathering then I think the skirt would be the thing that’s most out of line.  Of course that’s just speculation and if that’s not the case and it was just a regular non-whorish skirt then she needs to mind her own damn business.

Post # 11
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Not totally out of line, but a little inappropriate. If you like it and he likes it, who cares?!?! I mean unless you were wearing it for church or a funeral?

I honestly believe that people can be straight forward and honest without sounding disrespectful to elders. And at the same time older family members need to learn how to be polite and appropriate. I dont really believe in all the generational respect thing.

What did your fiancee said to her?? 

Post # 13
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well considering fgmil was around I would assume that it’s a family function of some kind and probably was a bit inappropriate. I think grandma did it right by going to her FI rather than giving her looks or making a scene.. as many others have had to deal with in the past. lol

Now she knows just not to wear short skirts around gma… lol

Post # 14
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would be hurt, but I guess it is a generational thing. I see lots of people wearing outfits that I think are inappropriate but I really don’t think that it is any of my business and who am I to judge what someone else thinks is appropriate. It sucks that you might feel uncomfortable around her, but I say wear what you want to wear. I think a lot of older people know what they are saying is rude but they think they can get away with it because they are old. Don’t get me wrong I love my grandma and I have a lot of respect for things that my older generations have been through and their opinion, but I still think that they know they cross the line sometimes.

Post # 15
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@USAandKSA:  It can be and can’t be out of line…confusing? lol  Where were you when she said this?  Were you in her home?  In your home?  Out in public?  If you were in your home, then yeah, she has a right to say something.  It’s not very polite to point out, but if what you are wearing is making her feel uncomfortable and you are in her home, you play by your rules.  If she said it in your home, or out in public, I would say it’s none of her business.  Grandmas could think anything an inch above the knee is too short…or anything above the ankles is too short. lol  Now, if your bum was hanging out when you bent over because the skirt was so short, I’d probably say something too. LOL 

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well considering she’s older then I would assume she’s more conservative in her tastes than you are. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel some kinda way about it, but I would not say anything about.

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