How polite are you?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

1) Yes, I smile if I pass somebody on most occasions.

2) I almost always hold the door unless they are very far behind me.

3) If it’s super busy, yes I keep to the right (American thing).

4) For the most part I think being courteous & treating others with respect is what having manners is all about. I think of being polite more about in words alone & having manners as a way of living and in actions. But overall I’m going to say that if you have one, you probably have the other.

My FI & I always talk about how far a good attitude, a smile, & an appreciative spirit can you in this world. It’s sad to see that people that think that way are a dying breed. I do tend to think it’s a result of bad parenting. I grew up with a single dad who worked 90-100hr work weeks, & he still would have neverrr let us act-up in public. We grew up on the golden rule.  

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Kat:  

@theone99:  

My grandma (also, my parents, but grandma says it all the time) taught me something very important: treat people the way you like to be treated. I guess parents don’t teach that to children these days. And it is the core of politeness and manners. 

Another thing grandma says is “punish bad people with politeness”. 

Post # 5
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

It really depends.

I know how to be polite (I was brought up learning old school manners) and I will start out any neutral or ambiguous interaction that way. However, depending on what others do, I can become much more directly assertive, blatently honest about something I know the other is intentionally dancing around, and, albeit rarely, aggressive.

Polite people tend to tell me that I’m extremely polite, kind and considerate. Rude people tend to tell me that I’m a horribly rude bitch. Front and back of the same elephant.

BTW, my city is crowded and busy. It’s not normal, polite, or practical to smile at passers-by. We move and glide our gazes past each other stone-faced as if we can’t see each other (unless someone falls down or something else happens that requires attention. Then we break out of our faux-trances immediately). It’s polite to be stony-faced in my city because it’s a way of respecting personal psychological space when personal physical space is in short supply. I know that in less-populated communities, it’s normal to wish “good morning” to anyone you pass by, but this particular habit is very dependent on location.

Post # 7
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you’re walking along a quiet street and someone passes you, do you smile? 

I usually smile, nod a greeting or say hello or nice day.

– Do you hold the door open for people when entering/leaving buildings or a public bathroom?

Always- it doesn’t matter what gender the person is either. i also give up my seat on public transport to anyone older than me, anyone too short to safely reach the hand rails which are usually near the roof, anyone who looks like they have had a hard day and pregnant women.

– Do you keep to the left (or right) of shopping aisles/escalators/foot paths when walking?

Yes. I really dislike people who decide to stop and have a chat right in the middle of a busy walkway. Move out of the way.

– Do you think that being polite & having good manners are the same thing?

I think they are linked. if you are polite then you will have good manners and vice versa.

Post # 8
Member
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am yes. To my detriment sometimes, I get the “you’re too nice” and “stop being polite.” It was just how I was raised, my grandmother and mum instilled good manners and politeness in me. 

Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Pretty much the same answer that joya_aspera said.

Post # 10
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

 – I’ll admit I usually don’t smile. If they’re a stranger, then I mostly keep myself to myself. Mainly cos they could be a creepster and I’m not getting murdered for the sake of politeness. I’ll just be on my way, thank you.

– I hold the door open if they’re right behind me. If they’re 100 yards off I’m not going to stand there like a lemon until they reach the door. I thank anyone who opens the door for me and give them a smile though.

– Not consciously, no, but I always try to stick to the flow since I get so annoyed with people pushing and shoving.

– Not really. You can be polite ‘please, thank you’ and not have good manners, e.g. burping in public, eating food off your knife etc.

I guess I’m not really polite as such… but I’d say I have decent manners.

Post # 11
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

– If you’re walking along a quiet street and someone passes you, do you smile?
For a stranger? No, that’s effing weird. 

– Do you hold the door open for people when entering/leaving buildings or a public bathroom?
Yep! 

– Do you keep to the left (or right) of shopping aisles/escalators/foot paths when walking?
Yep! 

– Do you think that being polite & having good manners are the same thing?
Not necessarily. I feel like politeness is towards other people and good manners (which does benefits other people, like coughing into your arm) is more within.

Post # 12
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

  • I always smile..I have crows feet to prove it! 
  • Yes, I hold the door for those behind me and find myself letting other enter before I do. I get odd looks and it always makes me chuckle. 
  • I always keep to the right while walking which is usually the flow of foot traffic in the states
  • I feel that being polite and having proper manners go hand in hand. Nobody likes a rudie 🙂

Post # 13
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@theone99:  I go out of my way to be polite and respectful. I don’t stand on ceremony or go out of my way to do excessively mannerly things like “no elbows on the table” and such… but it’s just a “treat others as you would be treated” thing. I believe in acting in a way that, if everyone acted that way, the world would be better, not worse. I don’t always succeed at that, but that’s the idea anyway.

I do the things you mentioned, including smile, though I didn’t used to – I think that one depends entirely on the culture where you live. Here, it’s safe and a small area and I’m one of few foreigners. I have good reason to smile. In other places I’ve lived, smiling at strangers is seen as a little weird.

Post # 14
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I do not engage wpith strangers.  I live in the NYC area and work in Manhattan.  Too many kooks.

I hold doors and stay out of people’s way on sidewalks.

Being polite and having good manners go hand in hand, but someone can be a jerk who knows how to be polite.  I try to look beneath the surface when possible.

Post # 15
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I live in Japan. I have become extremely polite. So much so that I’m a tad nervous about assimilating back into western culture… I am already struggling with talking to vendors.

Post # 16
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

– If you’re walking along a quiet street and someone passes you, do you smile? Generally, yes. If I am downtown somewhere in a big city, no. However; I live in a small(ish) town now and everyone speaks to each other, smiles, holds doors, waves as you drive by, etc.

– Do you hold the door open for people when entering/leaving buildings or a public bathroom? Yes, mostly. 

– Do you keep to the left (or right) of shopping aisles/escalators/foot paths when walking? Normally I am the one people need to move over for, I am a speed walker for some reason

– Do you think that being polite & having good manners are the same thing? I think they go hand in hand. I was raised to be very polite, say “ma’am” or “sir”, don’t interrupt, get off of the phone/don’t take calls while you’re entertaining, having dinner or in a public place, etc.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors