Post # 1
So, my family and friends surprised me with a bridal shower today!! It was absoluetely amazing! I feel extremely blessed, I was fighting back tears over how beautiful everything was, it was PERFECT… However, it was brought to my attention that one of the people who were invited, was a family member, who is attending my bachelorette weekend at the beach, did not show up. Not only did she not show up, she didn’t even respond to the request to be invited. Okay, whatever,… However, she made me meet her this past Friday, to pay her to book our weekend. So, I kind of feel a little unsure if I should take it personally that she wasn’t there, or just let it slide. But, I can’t help feel a little pissed off not so much that she wasn’t there today, but more so the fact that should couldn’t even respond to the people who worked so hard apparently for over a month, to pull this thing together today, but managed to collect money just 2 days ago. Knowing this makes me kinda of want to uninvite her/buy out her spot to my bachelorette party. I am not a catty person or anything like that, I just know what is right and wrong, and this feels a little messed up in my book. I don’t want to focus my thoughts all on one person not attending my surprise bridal shower, because honestly, I didn’t even notice who WASN’T there, but after finding out what that she was contacted and didn’t respond, really hurts me. Am I over reacting? What would you folks do?
This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by PAbee913.
Post # 2
Do you know how she was contacted?
I know I have had people get upset with me for not responding to them, only to find out later that they’d sent me a message on facebook (which I dont use much) or they’d emailed an old address or texted me from a number I didnt recognise and didnt identify themselves.
Post # 3
You are overreacting imo. Nobody should be kicked our of a bridal party or Bach party because she didn’t respond to a shower RSVP. going to the shower isn’t even required, so why would you punish her for something you didn’t even notice personally when it’s not even mandatory. Best of luck w everything
Post # 4
I wouldn’t be that upset about it, so long as it doesn’t indicate any hard feelings on her part towards you or the wedding. She may not have gotten the invitation, or may have gotten busy and just had it slip her mind to respond with regrets if she was unable to attend. Sometimes people get busy and forget things. It doesn’t seem malicious, but with more information maybe I’d feel differently. I hope you work it out with her for whatever is best for you though, and that he bachelorette party is fun!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t get my knickers in a knot over something like this. You don’t have the whole story so take a breath, jump down from your pedestal and let it go.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - Garden
This seems pretty normal to me. I had a few people who didn’t RSVP to my actual wedding, I think most brides experience this. For some people it just isn’t a priority to let you know if they can’t come. Weird, but it’s totally common!
This friend obviously had plans or for whatever reason didn’t want to come. She certainly isn’t obligated to! She is already making the effort to come and celebrate with you at your bachelorette. Don’t let her non-attendance at the shower overshadow the day for you.
I can definitely understand why you’re feeling upset about it, but if I were you I’d try to let it go. If she keeps being a flakey friend in future maybe reconsider, but if this is just a once-off just put it down to life getting in the way.
Post # 7
I’m so glad you had a great shower!
Has anyone spoke to her either yesterday or today? Maybe she had some sort of emergency and couldn’t make it. How was she contacted about the shower? Perhaps she was sent an email to an address she doesn’t use anymore, or a FB she doesn’t check often etc. There are a million reasons. Try not to get too upset and waste energy on this until you find out exactly why she wasn’t there
Post # 8
I certainly don’t feel like it was mandatory for her to attend, I’m not even upset that she wasn’t there, I’m realistic/reasonable, things happen, people are busy, etc. I also don’t believe it was malicious, either. Nor think I am on a pedestal, in any sense of the word. I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way, in my mind, a simple yes or no, seems appropriate. I guess it’s not a big deal, I just can’t help but feel a little hurt. Thanks for the advice though.
Post # 9
PAbee913: Sounds like a lovely shower. RSVPs, no matter how many people deal with in their life, are always a source of frustration. I would just let it go. Enjoy your upcoming events because who knows what happened-she could have completely forgotten, had a committment, or it could have been sent to the wrong address. I had a friend say she was coming to both my showers and didn’t show. I just had to let it go as it wasn’t worth getting upset over.
Post # 10
Mrs_Purple: Thank you very much! :)….. Well, I was told that she was contacted a few times, and no one had gotten a response from her. And, I just saw her Friday. I happened to notice she was on facebook quite a bit today. It’s not a huge huge deal, I swear it’s not. And, I def intend to talk with her about it, just to be sure there is no bad blood or anything. She’s my cousin, and I guess after hearing she was invited I was a little surprised/confused that she had not even responded, or attempted to respond. IDK, oh well life goes on. It was too beautiful of a day to let it get spoiled. 🙂
Post # 11
KatiePi: That’s pretty much the sums up how I look at the situation. It’s something that bugged me, but it’s not a huge issue, at least not enough to let it get me down. I appreciate the advice! 🙂
Post # 12
It’s possible she either forgot, didn’t get the invite or was unable to afford a gift. It’s not likely personal. Let it go.