Post # 1
So my fiance and I orginally planned to have a very, very small wedding. 30 people, just our closest family. Well, that 30 has now turned into 70-80, and our budget has also more than doubled.
People keep inviting themselves! I want to pull my hair out. Sent out the invites, and I made it very clear who was and wasn’t invited. (Or so I thought) For instance, we invited all of my fiances aunts and uncles, but not his 10-15 cousins. They are all adults, and he barely speaks to them other than holidays anyway. But, they keep popping out of the wood work saying “My name wasn’t on my parents invitation, am I not invited?!” Well, my fiance being the big softy he is… can’t just tell them the blunt truth, or nicely explain that we are having a SMALL wedding, due to space and money… so the cousin and the cousins girlfriend whom we’ve NEVER met is now attending our wedding.
I even had my fiance facebook message his dear cuz and KINDLY explain to him that he is not invited and instead of accepting the fact that he is not a child, and doesn’t have to be included in all things his parents do… he wrote back, “Tell Liz I will be there and I want to sit with the family”.
Well, fuck you too. I guess you can’t win them all. I am ready to elope!
Post # 3
Some people just don’t understand. They are probably thinking that it is cute to invite themselves, and that we (the bride and groom) feel special because they want to attend our wedding so bad that they invite themselves. I would have your FH explain to them that you two are not trying to be rude and tell them again.
Post # 4
Its outrageous, this happens to me a billion times throughout my wedding planning process, its ridiculous, and it really is hard to say NO. People dont understand that times are tough now and money doesnt grow on trees and if they werent invited then they really werent invited. We are 20 over our list right now too and feeling the pain being 4 wks away!
Post # 5
Ouch, that’s really bad. But you guys have to lay off the facebook and all of that and be direct with people, and not be afraid to say no. If you don’t say no, people will walk over you and do what they want. So.. use the phone, or face to face and stick by your original list. It’s hard but if you want a 30 person wedding, you have to take control.
Post # 6
If this guy wants to come, he needs to pony up some cash at the door. Asking him to do that is no ruder than what he’s done. I’m with you, totally. What a jerk.
Post # 7
Ok. His reply is rude. But I agree with melissabegins, the only way you’re going to get those numbers down is to be firm. Why don’t you just phone your FH’s cousin and explain it if your FH is too much of a softy?
Post # 8
I am sorry I just giggled out loud at your last line! (How many times do we all wish we could actually say that.. but alas we are better than that.)
But Yes this is SO rude!! I agree with missmoo, definitely be firm, and maybe pick up the phone and flip the tables, say just how much you’d loveeee them to be there (not!) , but due to your budget you have been forced to be modest with the guest list, but maybe if they really want to celebrate with you they could help with the cost? Kind of makes you come off as the better person, and doesnt let them get any with making you out to be the rude one.
Post # 9
Wait so did your FI already agree to it? It sounds like you’ve already allowed your guest list to blow up and there’s no going back from that.