Post # 1
My boyfriend (we may be engaged by the time my appointment is booked) will be going to the gynocologist for the first time. We were eachothers first, but since we have been together, sex has been painful and I experience pain and a lot of burning. It’s often so bad that I cry, we both get frustrated, and I end up going to bed early. I’m not sure how to approach my first gyno appt, and with him. I have bought medical grade dialators to help with the stretching, and also a vibrator and I have no problem using both. My boyfriend seems to have ED problems I think. The penetration is very painful.
I’m not sure what to say at this appointment but I’m willing to admit that I am inexperienced. I’m not sure my boyfriend will admit he experiences ED, or so he tells me.
Post # 3
Why is your boyfriend going with you? Personally, I wouldn’t want anyone there with me. I would suggest going to your GYN alone. Your boyfriend is better off asking his doctor (not your GYN) about any problems he’s having anyway.
Post # 4
@weightwatchers152: Him having ED wouldn’t be causing your problems regardless and so him talking to your gyno about it probably doesn’t make sense.
I wonder if you’re having an allergic reaction to something…are you using condoms or a spermicide?
Post # 5
Condoms and lots of lubricant. My boyfriend told me he wants to come to be supportive.
Post # 6
I would honestly go yourself or maybe have him wait outside.. that way you can have a conversation with your doctor without his influence. That’s great he wants to be supportive but make sure you can speak freely with your doctor.
Post # 7
@weightwatchers152: I wonder if you’re allergic to the latex. Have you tried to put a condom on one of the vibrators and see if it irritates you.
I’m not against him going with you. I think if you’re having sex with someone, then you should be comfortable to take them to the doctor with you and talk openly.
Post # 8
I hear that lube can be very irratating. Some people are also allergic to latex. Plus if you are relatively new to sex , its a recipe for pain!
May he be having ED problems due to the stress and fear of your reaction to sex?
You get yourself to the GYN to help sort things out and your man may need some counseling or Doctors advice himself.
Post # 9
I will try those suggestions. Maybe I will have him wait outside during the exam and talk to the doctor privately.
Post # 10
@weightwatchers152: I don’t think he should even go. Take a lady friend whom is “more experienced” I’m kinda in the in the boat him at your gyno is just weird.
Post # 11
I don’t think he needs to go that’s just weird. The only way I would have him go is if your pregnant.
Post # 12
This may be the most stupid and unhelpful comment ever, but you say you are inexperienced so perhaps it has never been said to you – always, always urinate soon after intercourse. Flushes the whole system out naturally, avoids UTIs and other pain/burning sensations.
Post # 13
I am allergic to lubes that heat up. It is extremely painful, burns and I cry like crazy. It seems to sound similar to what you are experiencing. A lot of people have allergies to a vareity of lubes, latex and even semen. I would try experimenting with something completely different, such as a latex free condom or a natural/herbal lubricant.
Post # 14
have you tried many positions? Some people who have a shorter vagina (I know that sounds wierd) end up having their cervix hit during thrusts so that will cause pain.
Since you mentioned you are inexperienced and using “a lot of lube” that makes me wonder if your body isn’t preparing itself like it needs to, is there foreplay going on? Do you feel ready for it or are you feeling scared in anticipation? Since you are using lube the lubrication shouldn’t be a problem but being tense can cause pain.
Lastly is it hurting upon insertion? Somtimes I find that if he enters at a bad angle it will create small tears in the back of my vagina at the opening…the part closer to the butt
Post # 15
@weightwatchers152: Honestly, I think it’s great that he wants to come with you to support you and if you feel more comfortable with him being in the room with you, then let him come in!
Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Also, maybe you could write down your symptoms or any questions you’re planning to ask? I find that when I’m going to the doctor about something embarrassing/super personal I sometimes get flustered and might forget something I want to say or ask.
Also, if he’s having ED problems, he should probably book his own appointment aside from yours.