(Closed) How should I be handling this?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

So is she having a friend in the wedding then, after she told you she just wanted her sisters in it?  It sounds like that’s what you’re saying given the fact that you’d need to watch her kid.  That’s a little off-putting, right off the bat.  Despite that, I do think that’s quite a lot to ask given that your wedding is 2 weeks prior and you’ll be just getting back from your honeymoon, most likely, and you’ll certainly be strapped for cash.  I can understand you wanting to be there and support her, but she seems to be completely disregarding your situation.  Maybe it’s because she’s just caught up in the hype of getting engaged/married and isn’t really thinking…?  I’d confront her about it and explain your situation.  If she’s an understanding, good friend, she’ll get it.

Post # 4
Member
46151 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t mind helping a friend with the child minding if I were able to attend the wedding. If I couldn’t afford to attend, I would simply tell her, Surely that won’t come as a big surprise to her given that she knew you were getting married two weeks before her(she did know your date before she set hers didn’t she?).

Would it be easier to afford to attend her wedding if you also made it your honeymoon?

Post # 6
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Watching them will only be for a little while. She probably asked you because she trusts you. You could always say that you might be too jet lagged / exhausted from you own wedding planning and that someone else should watch the children

Post # 7
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would try to make it if possible. I understand the BM thing….I don’t think it’s that she doens’t think enough of you…it may be that she values yours and her other friends so much that she doesn’t want anything getting complicated and risk loosing friendships.  With that said, if you can’t make it, I would use the work excuse. (not saying it’s an excuse..but I would go that route over finances).  It makes total sense that your work can’t afford to let you off again so soon after your wedding and honeymoon.  I don’t see how she could refute that or blame you for it….

Post # 8
Member
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Does she intend for you to miss the ceremony altogether to babysit?

Either way, I don’t think it’s worth risking making your boss angry to try to take time off immediately after doing it for your own wedding and honeymoon.

Post # 9
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

She chose to book a destination wedding two weeks after your wedding and honeymoon. If she’s surprised when you turn round and say you can’t afford it or take any more time off work, she’s an idiot.

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