- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
Ladies – I have been going back and forth about posting this for a few days, but I really need some help.
Long story long: FH and I are very equally planning our Labor Day wedding. We met with several caterers and had mixed experiences, but finally narrowed it down to two choices – one FH loved and one I loved. We ultimately went with the one I loved and sent them a (very small) deposit to hold our date (which was cashed). For reference, caterer has been in business a LONG time and receives nothing less than 5-star reviews on yelp, the bee, wedding wire, etc. Also for reference, we will be spending $10-$13k on catering alone, so this is no small deal.
Fast forward 2 months. Having heard nothing from the caterer (my expectation was that we would receive a contract and a menu proposal after they received the deposit), I start calling and emailing to ask if there is anything we need to be doing, anything we can provide them. I receive one vague response about not needing to worry about anything. Finally, FH and I sit down and draft a very detailed menu proposal that matches what we want to serve with their “package” deal (i.e. 3 passed hors + stationary hors table, salad, etc.) includes. We send this to the caterer. No response. I leave several voicemails, which are never returned, and talk to the caterers’ assistant a few times – and again get vague replies. Six weeks after sending the menu, we receive an email menu proposal which does not include any of our requested items, and reads just like the sample menu we were given at our tasting. I reply, trying to be positive, with a few suggestions to tailor the menu more to our desires. No response.
This past weekend (2 weeks after sending my follow-up menu email), FH and I lose it. We finally sit down and talk through the timeline and realize just how little information we have from our caterer (wedding is 80 days away). FH is furious at the caterers’ for having done so little (and a bit at me for not bringing this to his attention sooner). I am really upset because I cannot imagine how my wedding day (of which food is my number one priority) is going to come together in so short a time, when we have nothing to go on. We send caterers a polite, but very firm, email detailing the timeline and our frustrations and asking for a menu and draft contract by a set time (a few days from sending email).
The next day, we get a call from the caterer asking why we have a problem and telling us that they are extremely busy, and so cannot deal with weddings beyond the month of the wedding (read: they work month-by-month, so we should not expect to hear much from them prior to the second week of August). I explain that I understand that their way of working is different than mine, but that – because I am 3,000 miles away – I need a few things on paper to feel confident that all is well. Caterer reluctantly agrees to send me a revised menu the next day, and a contract the next (which would be today). I have received nothing. Today I got a voicemail from the main caterer’s partner saying that he was happy to work with us through any problems we were having and understood we wanted to discuss our menu. There was no mention of sending us anything on paper.
So, it seems obvious to me that we should politely end our relationship and find a caterer who is going to treat our event with more urgency. I am NOT thrilled about trying to find a good caterer with less than three months to go, but I do not feel confident that my current caterer cares at all or is willing to give us what we need to move forward. My FH is still furious, but not sure what to do.
So here is where it gets complicated – my mom (who met the caterers) thinks I am crazy, and said that I was letting the fact that I am a bride get in the way of my rational thinking. She says it is understandable that the caterer needs to give their full attention to their June and early July brides right now, and that – when it is my time – I will get the same attention, so just be patient. basically, that I should let the reviews speak for themselves and have faith that my caterer knows what they are doing.
What do you guys think? Would you be upset, or do you think this is one of those things that earns brides a bad rap? I am really confused, so could use some of the sage advice I know you can give!