Post # 1
I, like most other college students I know, have a jar that I use for spare change that I keep handy for little things that might come up. Mine has one of those nifty little counters on it so I don’t have to dump it all and count it out. A few weeks ago, I accidently left it out in the open after putting in some more change and I had a few people over. The only people here other than myself was 4 of my friends, mh FH and a repairman who had been over earlier in the day.
I know the repairman didn’t take it because he was outside the entire time he was here until he told me that he was finished and leaving. I know that my friend Olivia didn’t take it because she was only here a few hours and I was with her the whole time. I know my friend Dylan didn’t take it because he was only here about 30 minutes and we sat outside on my porch the entire time. I know that my FH didn’t take it because he was with me the whole time he was here. I know my friend Ashley didn’t take it because she was with me the whole time. That only leaves Anna. She was the only person that had the time to take it that day. FH, Ashley and I left to go to the store for about an hour and she stayed behind because I had gotten tired of waiting on her to get back from Dylan’s house (she had left that afternoon and hadn’t told anyone where she was going and was gone for nearly 4 hours).
The day after everyone else left, Anna had stayed with me, I went to go put my change in something smaller so I could cash it in at the coinstar and I noticed that my counter had gone down from $90 to roughly $50. Of course I asked Anna about it, but she said that maybe the batteries were low in the counter. So I counted the change out and the counter was right. She denied knowing anything about it and she went home. Later, on Facebook, after I had alluded to being worried about money, she posted 5 different statuses saying that she had no money and was tire of being broke. Later that day, she sent me a message telling me that she’d been drunk for a few hours because she’d bought vodka after she sold her ipod for $40 (the same amount I was missing) to some lady who just opened up a pawn shop where she lived. Later that night, I talked to a friend of mine who works in a store that the lady she supposedly sold it to comes into and she found out that the woman doesn’t buy electronics. I didn’t ask Anna about it because I was sick and I was furious. After I few days, I logged into Facebook to see that Anna posted a status saying that she really wished she could find someone to buy her ipod, 4 days after she told me that she sold it.
All the evidence points to her but anytime I mention it she denies it. I haven’t talked to her much since it happened because I don’t know what to say to her. She keeps sending me Facebook messages though, one for each day that I haven’t talked to her, asking me if I’m mad with her or if I hate her.
I really don’t want to believe that she would do it, but it’s really not helping her case that she “sold” her ipod for the exact same amount of money that I was missing, had money to buy several things, then posts a status 4 days after she “sold” her ipod about her not being able to find anyone to buy it.
Now she’s been asking if she can come over again and I’ve told her that now isn’t a good time but I can’t keep avoiding talking to her about it and I don’t want to just cut ties with her without finding out what’s going on.
Post # 3
What did she say when you directly confronted her about the iPod? There’s not really anything to deny there as she put it out there on FB that she hadn’t sold it yet after telling you she had.
If you decide to continue hanging out with her, don’t leave anything valuable sitting out and don’t leave her around any of your belongings unattended.
Unfortunately, if you didn’t see her take it and she’s denying it, there’s not a whole lot you can do other than be really careful in the future.
Post # 4
I would confront her about it. At the very least, she’s lied about the iPod. If she continues to lie to you, you can never trust her again.
Post # 5
Honestly? It doesn’t take an FBI agent to figure out she stole your money. You already know she has done it, now you have to figure out what to do.
I wouldn’t be overly harsh about it, just because you guys might have mutual friends, same classes in the future, but I would just be honest, and tell her whats up, and that you don’t appreciate her stealing and lying. I would then tell her proceed with, friends don’t do that kind of thing. And keep your distance.
she stole your money for vodka? that’s messed up.
Post # 6
I feel your pain. A person I considered a friend stole $80 out of my kitchen coffee can emergency fund when I was living in my first apartment. I learned my lesson, never leave money around no matter who is in your home. I’m sorry this happened. Unfortunately unless you’ve rigged your house with cameras or she admits it, you’ll never be able to know if it was her for sure.
I guess I’d think about the friendship overall. Does she lie a lot? Is she untrustworthy? Is this something you see happening again? Is she a good person who made a bad decision? Only you can decide if you want to still be friends. I know it sucks. I’d rather just give a friend money if they are having a hard time rather than wonder if they stole it from me.
Post # 7
ya, i would just let her know that i know she did because of all the evidence and that you don;t like that she is lying about it. then keep your distance. i had a friend in elementary school steal a book from me that i was reading. i had been reading it in class (like one of those judy bloom type books, not a school book). and then it was gone and the next day this classmate has it. it was so obvious. i confronted her, she denied it and there was nothing i could do, except all future books i wrote my name on random pages. i was hoping to catch her again, but she never stole another one.
basically though, i dont think u are going to get a confession from her. For one, if she did confess she probably sees it that you will hate her and not be her friend anymore (which i dont think you should), and second, if she admits to it, well then she kinda has to pay you back!
Post # 8
I’d just stop talking to her altogether. You do not need a friend who disrespects you so much that she would steal from you. I had a “friend” do this to me once, except it was with a credit card, and for an amount far more than $40. If she did this once, expect her to do it again when she is in dire straights.
Post # 9
wow. I know that college is rough, but none of my friends ever stole from each other…
I think the problem is not only that it is pretty likely that she stole, but with the friendship itself. Even if she was hard pressed for money, she never should have taken something from you. I would just let the friendship fade after this…her sending you facebook messages repeatedly makes her seem really guilty.
Post # 10
$40 is a small price to pay to discover that a friend would steal from you. It could have been much, much worse. Better to learn this over some change than over important jewelry or your laptop.
Let the $40 go and distance yourself from the girl.
Or, you can stir up a storm, look petty for picking on a girl who has no money, make friends pick sides, and make this drama last even longer.
I vote for moving on.
Post # 11
Honestly, I’d tell her straight up “I know you stole the money. If you had asked to borrow it, I probably would have been happy to lend it to you, but now I can’t trust you”.
Post # 12
I agree with this tack. Don’t ask if she took the money, just tell her you know she took it, and that it violated your trust and you don’t want to hang out with her anymore.
If she responds with an apology, maybe you can be friends again in time. If she continues to lie to you, you’ll know what kind of a personshe is.
Post # 13
I had a similiar situation except I lost lots more than just $50. It was my BD and this girl I met from school and made her my friend. she wanted to take me to lunch, however my lunch was free because the place we had lunch offered free lunch for the BD girl and we knew about that. That was why when we went there so it was not like we just found out about the free lunch when we got there.
A week prior to that, I also lost cash also, only about $90 and the only person I was with was her, but I didn’t think much of it.
The second time around, after my BD lunch, we went to shop around and took easter picture and I paid for it and all my hundreds dollar bills were still in my wallet. She got fired from her job and I even offered to pay for most of the things we ate or spent on that day.
We went to a clothing store and I wanted to try on some clothes. She watched my purse while I tried on some dresses and after 10 mins, I came out from the dressing room to pay for the clothes, 3 of the hundreds dollar bills were gone and I only had $60 left. I was very pissed off, and I was very mad because I knew she took my money. Especially a broke girl went and blow $200 on shoes the day after.
When her father came from Mongolia to visit, I even cooked dinenr for them. She always wanted to come to my place to hang out even after 10pm in the evening. She also stole a bunch of my expensive clothes which consisted all the items she liked and once borrowed and din;t want to give back. All the clothes she took together value like $3000 and I am sure I can ebay them and still get at least $1000 even considering they were worn by me already.
I came over to her place to check, and she knew and heard my voice, she closed the blind and acted like she was not home. She moved else where couple of weeks later. I wrote her an email to tell her how divious she was and I regret making a thief like herself to be my friends. I called her a thief without any hesitation and told her to stay away from me. She never responded.
All these incidents happened like in two weeks altogether. Thanks Lord, I even once offered her a place to stay becasuse I felt bad for her not having family here and got fired from her job and may not be able to pay for apartment rent….I defriended her for good and told her she is a thief and need to stay away from me.
Post # 14
@Potatoes: I totally agree with this tactic.
Straight up tell her that you know she took your money and that you can’t trust her any longer. I wouldn’t even offer her a second chance. Who wants to be “friends” with someone who steals money from you to buy a bottle of vodka?
Post # 15
I talked to her again about it yesterday after she just showed up because she was in the neighborhood visiting a mutual friend. When I asked her about the ipod, she told me the woman had “given it back” and that she had given her the money back. After that I just told her that I knew she’d taken it, she was the only one who was able to and that I’d appreciate her being honest with me. She still denied it but I found out from a mutual friend that he’d had money go missing after she’d visited with him a week before my money went missing.
The thing is that she didn’t even need the money. She’s about to start college again, but she still lives with her parents. While her living situation isn’t good, she still has food and gets money when she needs it. She also has a Pell Grant and talked about how she’s perfectly fine wasting some government money at the community college she’s going to… I think the only reason that she took it was because she wanted to drink, which is ridiculous, because I gave her a bottle of vodka for her 21st birthday, which was the befoday before the money went missing. I spent close to $100 on her party and then she took more money from me. I’ve noticed that since turning 21 all she talks about is going to bars and getting drunk all day.
It really blows when you think someone is your friend and they steal from you.