Post # 1
I was showing my FI the tuxes that I liked and asked him to pick one. I then proceeded to ask him which one for our fathers. He said NO WAY will we get his dad in a tux. That his dad only wore a button up shirt and blue jeans to his wedding, and if he really feels like it he will wear black jeans instead.
I told him my father was getting a tux and its pretty traditional that the fathers wear tuxes. All the groomsmen are. I think it would look odd for him to be wearing black jeans and a button up shirt. He will be walking in the processional, right after the moms.
I think its one of those things that in the long run won’t really matter. I would just feel weird having my dad in a tux and not him? Would it look weird if one was in a tux and the other not?
How should I handle this? Just ignore it and move on?
(my FI and his father are NOT very close)
Post # 3
If your wedding is formal then I would offer to pay for the rental and see if he changes his mind. However, all of the groomsmen in my wedding are wearing tuxes but I told FI’s dad that he could wear what he wants. He is a vet and all I’ve ever seen him in is kahkis and polos ha ha. I want him to be comfortable… but my wedding is NOT formal at all.
Post # 4
I think you just have to decide whether its truly that important to you, and if truly in the end it will matter to the overall outcome of your day. There are so many more important, more noticeable things to worry about, this probably feels bigger now than it actually will be on the day. Also, if your FI and his dad aren’t close, you may be putting your FI in an awkward position for something trivial.
Post # 5
To me this is one of those things that doesn’t matter in the long run. Who cares what he wears? Isn’t it more important that he enjoys himself at his son’s wedding?
Post # 6
You can offer to pay for it and see what he says. But if he doesn’t want one then just let him wear what he wants. It’s not a big deal. =)
Post # 7
I would explain to his dad why you would like him to wear a tux and see what he says.
To me this would be a VERY big deal since I am the kinda person who thinkks about the fact that allof the family pictures would look silly with your dad in a tux and his in jeans. BUT I also plan to have and hang a big picture of Me FI, FI dad, My mom and dad and our son in my house.
Post # 8
OP, so funny b/c I had a very similar situation! All of our groomsmen are wearing tuxes and I really wanted both my dad and FH’s dad to wear tuxes, but FH says his dad will not want to wear one….I was disappointed at first but then I’m like ok whatever! It’s going to be fine. Of course the dads are important members but the focus will be on YOU all day so it does not matter what the dads wear! 😉
Post # 9
I would be annoyed! It’s one day. Yea, you want him to be comfortable and enjoy himself, but those photos will be around forever! I mean, I feel like he is the one being inconsiderate, not you. If he was not in the bridal party or pictures I wouldn’t care, but jeans? Really? At LEAST wear trousers. I would kindly ask, and offer to pay, but you’re right. In the long run it’s not worth making anyone upset over. But I would bring it up. Once, then let it go.
Post # 10
@HelloSweetie: I agree.
I think that the problem with this isn’t really your pictures, but the fact that your FIL is going to look…foolish wearing jeans (who wears jeans to a wedding unless they have been told too because of the level of formality??? I seriously don’t get this!) when all the other men in the bridal party are in tuxes. If the rest of your wedding is formal, it will be even more noticable.
I’ll be honest, I don’t get why people would want to be so under-dressed as to draw attention to themselves. And people will comment.
You can’t do much if he decides to dig his heels in. I think that your FI (or his mom maybe?) can say that everyone else in the bridal party, including your dad, are going to be wearing tuxes. Offer to pay. Perhaps offer to compromise on a suit. If he doesn’t agree, let it go. Unfortunately, FIL is the one who is going to look like a fool, but that’s his choice.
Post # 11
Ultimately about the only thing you can do is offer to cover the rental … and, if he refuses, ask that he stands in the back row in all the pictures!
Post # 12
Offer to pay for the rental to see if it sways him…..
Post # 13
I think you could offer to pay for the rental, and include him in the process of picking a tux, so he can maybe find something he thinks he’ll be more comfortable in.
Post # 14
@ArwenBride: I agree. He’s going to look so out of place.
Post # 15
I would say offer to pay for the rental and see what happens, If not insist on a suit or jacket at least. My FFIL is similar to this in a way. I’m haveing him, my father, FI’s step father and my godfather all wearing dark suits. I have alos purchased ties in our wedding colors for the four of them to wear. He is the only one giveing me trouble about the attire. I told him its all I’m asking from him on this one day its the least he can do. If that dosn’t work I’m getting his sisters involoved they love me. 🙂