Post # 1
I got an email from my FMIL this morning that she has invited three of her friends to come to my bachelorette party. I was planning on a very small getaway with only 4 of my own friends coming to the party, so this is going to double the size of my bachelorette party! I don’t know what to do. I do not know the women that she has invited and I feel like it will be awkward. But, she has already invited them, so I cannot uninvite them. What should I do???
Post # 2
atlast2014: Who is hosting the party?
Post # 3
Astra: My maid of honor is hosting the party. I haven’t even told her about this mess yet!
Post # 4
atlast2014: Was your FMIL invited to begin with?
Post # 5
atlast2014: I don’t understand why her friends would WANT to go if they don’t know you. Can’t they do a night out on their own? (Sorry, not helpful, just baffled)
You should let your FMIL know you are not in charge of the guest list but you wanted to keep it intimate with you and your close friends. She can deal with uninviting them if she did so without asking in the first place.
Post # 6
What kind of bachelorette party is it. My immediate reaction would be no. Do you know these women? Are they invited to your wedding?
Honestly, why is your FMIL even going to your small getaway with friends?
Post # 7
atlast2014: You may not be able to uninvite them, but she can.
“There seems to have been a misunderstanding. I am only going out with a few of my closest friends. I look forward to seeing you at the ______ (fill in the blank-shower, luncheon, rehearsal dinner) however.”
You can handle this yourself given that she emailed you, or you can ask your MOH to deal with this.
I fail to understand why grown women would want to attend a bachelorette for someone they don’t even know.
Post # 8
weatherbug: Yes, I was planning on inviting both moms. I get along with both my mom and my FMIL great, and I wanted them to be included. But, I was not really planning on there being a bunch of people I don’t know.
Post # 9
atlast2014: Your MOH, who is hosting the party, is the ONLY person who can do the inviting.
I suggest you enlist your FI to tell his mother that she must un-invite the people she invited. That is incredibly rude of her.
Post # 10
julies1949: I totally agree with you. I think that they are going to be wild, and I am absolutely not looking for a wild bachelorette party. I was looking for a relaxing weekend, and now I think I am in for something totally different!
Post # 11
That was very rude of FMIL without so much as a consideration for your wishes or the host’s plans. I would just come right out and tell her that it was your hope that this could be kept limited to just the moms and your closest friends. Since she had no business inviting them, she will have to figure out a way to tell them she spoke out of turn.
Post # 12
Hell to the no! My daughter’s bachelorette weekend was this past weekend and I didn’t go. Nor did I go to the other daughter’s, in 2013. They invited me for the meals, movie, etc.; Thanks, but No Thanks! They each went to a dance clinic – one was “The Art of Exotic Dancing,” but although I’d do it with a group of middle aged friends, not with my daughter’s …
Post # 13
atlast2014: Just tell her that your sorry for the misunderstanding but MOH is actually making all the plans so anything like this should have been cleared with her. …..she has specific things planned that will make it awkward since there are only 4 other people….(if half the group doesnt know eachother?) thats weird. i would tell her staright up if she wants a girls weekend with her friends she can do so on her own time and not hijack your bacheorette!!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
atlast2014: Tell your FMIL that she needs to uninvite them. That is not your fault. I don’t know what would possess her to invite her friends to your bachelorette. If you haven’t had your shower yet she could say she meant your shower … Ugh. Totally sucks.
Post # 15
It sounds like you FMIL didn’t want to feel like she was crashing the party so she thought she’d invite a few friends her age. But yeah, she should disinvite.