How should I handle this situation???

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

atlast2014:   Who is hosting the party?

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

atlast2014:  I don’t understand why her friends would WANT to go if they don’t know you. Can’t they do a night out on their own? (Sorry, not helpful, just baffled)

You should let your FMIL know you are not in charge of the guest list but you wanted to keep it intimate with you and your close friends. She can deal with uninviting them if she did so without asking in the first place.

Post # 6
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

What kind of bachelorette party is it. My immediate reaction would be no. Do you know these women? Are they invited to your wedding?

Honestly, why is your FMIL even going to your small getaway with friends?

Post # 7
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

atlast2014:  You may not be able to uninvite them, but she can.

“There seems to have been a misunderstanding.  I am only going out with a few of my closest friends. I look forward to seeing you at the ______ (fill in the blank-shower, luncheon, rehearsal dinner) however.”

You  can handle this yourself given that she emailed you, or you can ask your MOH to deal with this.

I fail to understand why grown women would want to attend a bachelorette for someone they don’t even know.

Post # 9
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

atlast2014:   Your MOH, who is hosting the party, is the ONLY person who can do the inviting.

I suggest you enlist your FI to tell his mother that she must un-invite the people she invited.  That is incredibly rude of her.

Post # 11
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That was very rude of FMIL without so much as a consideration for your wishes or the host’s plans. I would just come right out and tell her that it was your hope that this could be kept limited to just the moms and your closest friends.  Since she had no business inviting them, she will have to figure out a  way to tell them she spoke out of turn. 

Post # 12
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

Hell to the no! My daughter’s bachelorette weekend was this past weekend and I didn’t go. Nor did I go to the other daughter’s, in 2013. They invited me for the meals, movie, etc.; Thanks, but No Thanks! They each went to a dance clinic – one was “The Art of Exotic Dancing,” but although I’d do it with a group of middle aged friends, not with my daughter’s …

Post # 13
Member
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

atlast2014:  Just tell her that your sorry for the misunderstanding but MOH is actually making all the plans so anything like this should have been cleared with her. …..she has specific things planned that will make it awkward since there are only 4 other people….(if half the group doesnt know eachother?) thats weird. i would tell her staright up if she wants a girls weekend with her friends she can do so on her own time and not hijack your bacheorette!!

Post # 14
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

atlast2014:  Tell your FMIL that she needs to uninvite them. That is not your fault. I don’t know what would possess her to invite her friends to your bachelorette. If you haven’t had your shower yet she could say she meant your shower … Ugh. Totally sucks.

Post # 15
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It sounds like you FMIL didn’t want to feel like she was crashing the party so she thought she’d invite a few friends her age. But yeah, she should disinvite.

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