Weddingbee boards

I have been thinking for a long time who should walk me down the Aisle.

My step dad? He has always been there for me since he came into my life, he has a temper and we don't always get along, but everyone fights. My mom said he would be extremely honored.

alone? but i am currently living at home and not on my own.

Dad? Situation is awkward. Hasn't shown and interest or offered any help.

Here's the background on my situation.

My parents got divorced when i was 7. My brother and i were always close with my dad afterwards, Every weekend and every Thursday he would come see us. My mom and Dad were always friendly and my dad was even friendly with my step dad. My dad and mom both remarried a few years after the divorce. My dad got divorced again, and met someone else a year or so later. They immediately moved in together and things were ok at first, but over time things went down hill.

My dad stopped coming around on Thursdays, but would call instead. He would come later and later on Saturdays to pick us up for the weekend. My dad used to come into our house a talk to my mom and step dad for like 30 min each weekend, then that stopped. When he stopped coming to the door my mom took us outside to the car and introduced herself to my dads girlfriend at the time, and she totally blew my mom off and was nasty. Eventually he stopped seeing us on weekend and stopped calling.

The child support checks started coming in her name and my mom had to take them to court because they decided not to pay anymore.

I would call my Dad every once and awhile and go to his house, i always got the sense of being unwelcome and that my Step Mom was just gave off a vibe of dislike. I eventually got busy working two jobs and going to school and he never once called me.

I one day i receive a nasty text from my Step mom, saying i never call or come visit and my father is upset, which of coarse upset me, but all i could think was that i am busy and he can pick up the phone or come visit me too, my mom agrees with me, he is the father he stopped all communication, this is not my fault.

So time went by, i spoke to my dad saying it was uncalled for and i told him how i felt when i came over, but that got me nowhere and still did not try to contact me at all. I went over there trying to be good, but i felt so uncomfortable like i was at a strangers house. So stupid me being nervous i just wanted to get out of there and told him to send me a guest list for his side of the family. My mom was kinda pissed at me because i didn't discuss money, but i had not seen my dad or spoken to him for almost a year prior and didn't feel comfortable especially in front of my Step Mom. I text my dad several months later and told him that me and mom wanted to get together to talk about the wedding, JUST US THREE!

Well we met up at a restaurant a few weeks later, we had to bring my 9 year old sister cause couldn't leave her home alone, my step mom walked in right behind my dad. We all said hi and my mom politely said your welcome to stay for dinner but we will not discuss the wedding because it was only suppose to be my biological parents.

She started a scene in the middle of the restaurant, screaming and yelling, then left the restaurant my dad stayed but i was too hysterical crying at this point. My mom was saying all we ask are for him to pay for any of his family, that was on his list we received from them months earlier and for one of the vendors. My dad said that my step mom controls everything and he can't help.

She stormed back into the restaurant yelling that he left her to sit in the car and wait then flicked him in the face with her long hooker nails in front of all the customers staring. Then yelled more towards my mom, my sister screamed out "stop yelling at my mommy" and she turned to my 9 year old sister and said in a mocking voice " i'm not yelling at your mommy" which had my sister in hysterics. She stormed out and he followed.

My step mom text me a day or so later, apologizing saying she wants to be apart of the wedding and help with my shower. My mom and i wrote a text back saying that we want their support emotionally and financially, her participation need to be earned not expected and she needs to apologize to my mom and sister not only me. Her text was forwarded to my dad along with my response. 

This was in march/April and i haven't heard from them since.

I keep thinking i don't want to have to make my dad suffer because of her, but then again my dad is a grown man why did he let her come between us.

My Brothers don't like her either, my older brother doesn't even talk to my dad anymore and my other bro is in the army and calls him once and a while.

Please bees i need help, this has been on my mind for a very long time and i still don't know what to do. I'm so torn. 

Thanks bees for reading my long story.

I was thinking about just my step dad. Then it crosses my mind that i'm sure my dad will come to the wedding, i am just worried about seeing it in his face that he isn't walking me down. Plus i most likely will here it from my step mom and any of my dads family who might come. 

Sometimes i think that i should just suck it up and have both of them do it, even though things are the way they are.

This is why its such a difficult situation for me, i keep flip flopping.