Post # 1
I’m not sure my Maid/Matron of Honor knows she’s supposed to plan pre-weddig festivities. I live away from my hometown and would like to have my bachelorette party in my hometown. I’ve taken off a weekend in July to go to my hometown for it, but I kind of need help letting Maid/Matron of Honor that this would be a good weekend. She mentioned the party before, but I’m not sure she knows normally she’d be in charge of organizing. I thought of maybe texting her:
“I took off xx-xx to go back home. That’d be a great weekend for us to go out for the bacelorette party, do you agree?”
I don’t want to seem pushy, but want to get the ball rolling.
Post # 3
I think the way you worded it sounds fine. I would not be offended by that.
Post # 4
Whatever happened to personal contact? I would pick up the phone and give her a call.
Texts and emails always leave too much open to interpretation.
Post # 5
Give her a call! I am sure she would love to chat with you about the bridal shower!
Post # 6
Although it traditionally is customary for the Maid/Matron of Honor to be involved in organizing a bridal shower, it’s certainly not a requirement for her to do so or for her to host any other type of pre-wedding party.
I don’t think there really is a polite or proper way for you to raise the issue of any type of pre-wedding party proactively. However, if she or any of your other bridesmaids asks you what you would like, I think it would be appropriate for you to provide feedback at that time.
Post # 7
@Lava: I would just give her a call. Talk to her about what you both have in mind and then pin-point a date/time. The more relaxed you are about it, the less stressed she’ll be.
Post # 8
I think what you have is perfecty fine. I wouldn’t be offended at all. And I would think if you are close enough that she is your Maid/Matron of Honor that she would be thrilled to plan your bachelorette (which doesn’t mean pay for all of it; all the BM’s should pitch in and if travel is involved, everyone should pay for their own travel and lodging). Like you said, I’m sure she just didn’t realize it was customary for the Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s to plan the bachelorette and a wedding shower. You could also talk with another bridesmaid (that is aware of the custom) about approaching her to plan.
And I think texting is perfectly fine if that’s how you normally contact each other. Personally, I don’t like talking in the phone. I feel like I never have anything to say and I know many people that are the same way….
Post # 9
I agree that you need to call rather than text. And I would also confirm that she wants to throw you a bach before telling her when would be convenient. Maybe ask how tihngs are going with Maid/Matron of Honor duties, like putting together a speech, or getting her dress and see if that conversation can find it’s way to if she is planning to do a bach party.
Post # 10
I would first broach the subject by asking her if she had any plans for the bachelorette (or if she’s even planning on throwing it), then lead into the fact that you’d like to schedule it around your trip home. A good friend should be understanding about your directness, but you should still approach the subject with class. Good luck!