Post # 1
We will be inviting friends of ours who are dating. They have been dating for years, but they do not live together. We are friends with both equally, even before they were dating.
How should we address the invite? Should we send a seperate invite to each person? Should we put both names on the envelope and send it to only one of them? We don’t want to seem to be choosing one over the other by mailing it to just one, or make it awkward by putting the names of two people who live at different addresses on one card. At the same time, we don’t want to send a card to each of them and make it look like we are okay if they each bring their own plus one because that would result in two random people coming (and being payed for) which we have no intention of accommodating.
What is the proper etiquette for this?
EDIT: I’d like to add that, due to our budget, our invites are being ordered from a company which has set templates. You order them in bulk and all say the exact same thing, and we cannot get specifically tailored invites which do not include a plus one unless we opt for them ALL to be without a plus one. Therefore, we cannot get each a card without a plus one.
Post # 3
I would say separate invites and no plus one for either.
Post # 4
Added detail to my first post before of the first comment. Unique invites for them isn’t exactly an option…
Post # 5
@LostInWonderland: i agree with icetea. although i have a friend who does not live with her boyfriend, but we are inviting him and just putting his name on her invite. this is because she is one of my best friends, but they haven’t been together long and i don’t know him that well. if they are both good friends of yours, i would go for separate invites.
Post # 6
@LostInWonderland: oh ok, saw your edit. maybe just send to one (the girl?) and let them know it’s just for practical purposes?
Post # 7
I am guessing then, that you have the choice between templates reading either “invite you” or “invite you and your guest”. If that is the case, go with the template that does not include the “and guest” wording. Since etiquette requires that the guests be named by name inside the envelope somewhere, you then write “Ms Jones and guest” on the inner envelope, belly-band, or on the invitation itself for the people to whom you wish to extend two invitations, and “Miss Phipps” for the people whom you are inviting solo.
Actually, unless the guest is named “Joe Guest” or something — and even then it should be “and Mr Guest” — a truly gracious hostess never extends invitation to “and guest”. She calls up Ms Jones and asks “is there someone you would like me to invite, so that you can attend together?” and upon being told that Ms Jones is seeing Mr Doe, she extends an invitation to Mr Doe: personally, in his own name, in writing and to his own address. Which is another reason to have the invitations worded for solo invitations.
Post # 8
I would adress it to both of them and mail it to one of the addresses, maybe whoever you met first or lives closest or whatever. Before we lived together me and Fiance would get invites addressed to both of us but usually delivered to him and I had zero issues with it.
Post # 9
is there a way you can put both names on one envelope and just send it to one address? I guess your other option is send them each one individually but that seems unnecessary
Post # 10
My invitations didn’t say anything about guests. I let them figure out who was all invited by looking at who the envelope was addressed to. This way you would only need to use one invitation!
Mr so and so & Ms. So and So (I Think this would work best in this situation!)
mr so and so and Guest
Mrs and Mr so and so and Family
Mr. and Mrs. So and so