Post # 1
DH is mad because we got married in September and I still haven’t changed my name. I fully intend to, I want to change my name, I just haven’t gotten around to it. I’m honestly just dreading the hassle of the whole process.
The closest social security office is every bit of an hour from me, and you can’t make an appointment. That means I’ve got to take the time to drive an hour (or more) to go sit in an office until it’s my turn. Even then it’s at least 3 weeks before my new SS card would come in and then I start the process everywhere else. I know I could have mailed it all in, but I didn’t because I really intended to go do it in person and just never got the chance. Plus, I figured that there would be a chance it would get lost in the shuffle if I mailed it.
At Christmas we went to visit family and I booked our ferry reservation. At the ferry, even though DH was driving, they needed my ID – which of course is my maiden name. He got all huffy about why I hadn’t changed it yet. We delayed our honeymoon so we could do a ski trip. DH called this morning because he was booking my plane ticket to confirm I, in fact, hadn’t changed my name. Then he got all mad saying “well what was the point in getting married”. Uhhh…to be married????
I own my own business, which coincidently is “my name photography”. Before we were even engaged when I was starting my business I asked him what I should do about a business name, and what the plans were for us (at that point we’d already been together like 7 years, so it wasn’t a new thing). He told me to go ahead and use my current name.
I just don’t get why he’s throwing a fit. I’m always going to be known as my maiden name by defult because people know me as that and that’s my business name – which I WILL NOT be changing. I mean, I changed it on facebook ASAP..lol.
Post # 3
I changed mine when we got back from the honeymoon. I was nervous about passport issues since we went to Mexico.
Post # 4
I changed it as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. I didn’t have a job, so I went and sat in the SS office and did that, and then went to the DMV to change it. I think I could change my driver’s license before I got back my SS card, so I got those done right away. Then it was changing over credit cards and other things.
Post # 5
To answer your question, we got married September 15, left the country for our honeymoon on September 16, got home from our travels on October 5, and my name was changed a week later. It’s not fun, but I just had to put aside a day to do it. It was more time-consuming calling all my credit card/bank accounts and changing my name there than it was to deal with the social security office or DMV. You just have to put aside the time to do it. And as an aside, my SS card arrived within a week, even though they said it would take longer.
If you don’t want to change your name, I think that’s fine, but you just have to be honest with your DH. I think the reason he may be upset is because you said you were going to. My DH would have been upset if I had been telling him the whole time that I planned to change my name and then changed my mind after we got married.
Post # 6
I got married in Sept too and I changed mine at the end of December. I still have to make the switch on my credit cards but my banks, license, social security card, atm cards are already changed. My DH didn’t care though that I took 3 months to do it, well he didn’t let on that he cared…… 🙂
Post # 7
I also got married in September and I was honest with my DH and told him that I wasn’t sure about changing it. We also had a delayed honeymoon and the tickets had to be booked in my maiden name so I told DH that I would consider changing it after the honeymoon. As time has gone by, I am less and less interested in changing my name. I love my name and have always loved it and I don’t feel any less “married” by keeping it. When people ask me what I’m planning to do, I just say nothing for now. I might reconsider when we have children, but for now, I’m keeping my name the same until it feels right. If it never feels right, then I won’t do it.
Post # 8
After we got back from the honeymoon I started the process bc I needed my passport for the honeymoon! I currently have everything changed…..just waiting on the last step the passport to come back!!
Post # 9
We got married in August and I just went to the SSA to do the change last week. DH hasn’t really said anything, and I don’t really want to change my name, but I know it’s important to him so I did it. I don’t know I’d I’ll ever get used to being called by that name, though. I’m really attached to my given name and have yet to introduce myself or refer to myself with the married name.
It sounds like your DH really takes the name change seriously…idk, just do it and keep your business name and everything the same. You don’t have to change your entire identity, but the legality of it will make him happy.
Post # 10
@hardtoconcentrate: See that’s the thing, I didn’t change my mind. I am planning to change my name, I just haven’t gotten around to it. The SS office closes at 3pm everyday, and on one day it closes at 12pm. Plus it’s over an hour away. I know I could have mailed it, but I’m just not comfortable mailing my marriage license and birth certificate. KWIM?
I guess I just never saw it as a big deal. We’re still married. I want to change my name. DH’s job keeps him travelling out of the country quite a bit, and I will often go to visit him. For example, every January/February I head to Mexico because he’s there on a work trip. By the time I had some free time to do it, I knew that I’d be needing my passport and so I held off on that. Then, I knew we’d be taking our honeymoond and booking plane tickets, so I didn’t want to take the chance of booking in the wrong name.
He KNOWS I’m going to change my name. I’ve always planned to and I want to. I don’t get why he’s so up in arms over it? It’s not like I told him I wasn’t changing it at all, I told him I’d do it when I had some free time to make the trip.
Post # 11
@Ellegee: Oh that’s always been my plan. I’m not changing my business name. Even though I’ve always wanted to change my name when I get married (it’s a tradition I really like, but I totally respect those who want to keep their name) I made it clear that I was not changing my business name. My logo, branding, marketing, SEO, pretty much whole business identity is that name and I’m not starting over. He’s always been totally fine with that, which is why I’m so shocked he’s having such a fit about why my name isn’t changed yet? It’s not like anyone else knows. I changed it on facebook…lol…so as far as anyone else is concerned my last name is changed.
Post # 12
Hi ladies. I do plan to change my name… especially since he and the boys have the same last name and I’m the odd person out! I’m in the process of selling a house though and all the paperwork is in my maiden name. I DO NOT want to fill all that out again and he totally understands that. I’m hoping it will close next month and then I’ll have to take a day off to finally get that paperwork going.
For what it’s worth, I sign all the kids school stuff with my “married” name
Post # 13
I changed mine the day after we got back from our honeymoon (so 8 days after the wedding). I know everyone says that you need the SS card first, but I didn’t need it for anything. What I needed was the marriage certificate. Once I got that I changed my license and bank accounts, then went to Social Security. You have to send your passport away by mail, so I also did that immediately because that one’s really important. Everything else I just did bit by bit over the next few days on the phone and online.
The initial stuff only took me a couple of hours, but I have an advantage because I live downtown Chicago and all the offices are within a few blocks of each other.
Post # 14
@starfish0116: You’ve mentioned that the SS office closes at 3pm every day (and noon on another) – do you work a job that makes it not feasible for you to get there during those hours? He may be getting upset about it because it’s been 5+ months since the wedding, so, while the SS office is a pain to go to, if it’s not impossible, he may be feeling like you’re just not making the time to do it. That’s just a thought since you said it seems to be bothering him more and more as time goes on. Maybe just set aside a day to do it and even though the drive and wait at the office aren’t fun, then it’ll be done.
Post # 15
I started mine as soon as the honeymoon was over – our SS office closes at 3, too, so I used a few hours of sick leave and went in one afternoon.
I still haven’t done a few things – passport comes to mind (I need a new picture taken) and my business account. Most has been done though. Once SS and DMV were out of the way, I’ve just been doing it slowly as I go along.
Post # 16
my marriage cert took 6 weeks to arrive, so when it did arrive (finally, and it was only a certified copy too!) I changed my name on everything.