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My sister told us right away (parents and myself) but waited about 2 months before telling the general public!
I think waiting until the second trimester is the way to go.
I had two relatives call everyone (and I do mean everyone) up the minute they found out they were pregnant, and then have to call everyone back a few weeks later when they miscarried. It wasn't a pleasant experience for them...
It's pretty common for people to wait until the end of their first trimester (~12 weeks) when the chances of a miscarriage decrease tremendously. It really depends on your preferences, if you are experiencing any problems, how fast you are starting to show, when you need to tell your job, etc. There is no real good answer to this.
We told some people at 7 weeks because we had a scare so it was nearly impossible to hide it from my boss then. All others found out later.
telling people at 5 weeks after two miscarriages just seems not smart to me. totally understand how some people need to tell in certain situations but this just seems to early for this particular case.
I would wait until the potential for typical miscarriage has passed (3 months, I think?). Otherwise, if god forbid that happens to you, you would then have to to go back and tell everyone that, and that would not be fun.
I was watching a special on Discovery Health yesterday (we are a few years away from TTC, but I like learning!) and the OB/GYN said after a heartbeat is detected, your risk of miscarriage goes down to 5% - 7%, and you can usually announce it then.
I've had 2 friends this year announce and then miscarry not long after.
Couple one miscarried - but got pregnant again. They just told us, though it's not public knowledge. They waited about 3 months.
Couple 2 had known difficulties. They announced ASAP because they were so excited. I was always secretly worried because it was literally like, WE JUST FOUND OUT! Sure enough, about 3 weeks later she miscarried. Then, we had to deal with the awkwardness when a kid of another friend blurts out, "Oh ya, sorry you lost your baby."
Other friends of mine waited about 2 months. They got pregnant of their honeymoon (in St. Lucia) and it was a bit of a shocker... they wanted to get used to the idea first, lol.
Ironically, couple one went to St. Lucia to get their marriage back on track because of the stress of the miscarriage. That's where they conceived too.
We have decided NOT to go to St. Lucia for our honeymoon! lol
It really depends. I've had a few miscarriages so with this pregnancy I waited until 13 weeks until I started telling people, and even then I wasn't shouting it out to the world. I had told my mom, aunt and best friend as soon as I found out, but only because I was going to need their love and support if I miscarried again.
my boss announced when she was 10 weeks...this is her second child. I already thought she might be pregnant 2 weeks earlier because she was sick a lot and starting to show. I think it depends on the situation but, it is probably best to wait 10-12 weeks before announcing to everyone.
one of my not so close facebook friends announced literally the second they found out (um, posting the positive pee stick in her photos!!) and ended up miscarrying a month later. Only found that out via another FB update...though I'm sure it was hard for her to write that. She probably should have never announced.
I would wait until the first trimester is over. I would only tell my parents and sisters when I found out.
I think it depends on you and your needs. Some people tell right away knowing that they could use the support if the unthinkable happened. Others choose to wait until they see the heartbeat (risk of miscarriage goes way down) or until after any prenatal testing they may be getting.
We just wanted to feel comfortable in our own skins with it first, so we didn't really tell most people until 18-20 weeks, and now knowing that I wasn't going to show until 25-26 weeks, I might have waited even longer!
I agree with pps: I think this probably varies, couple by couple. We told our parents, our best friends, and my boss at 6-7 weeks. We told everyone else after the first trimester. I've heard of other people waiting until the ssecond trimester, but some people choose to tell earlier because they're excited, they want extra support in case they have a miscarriage, etc...
Our immediate families know. Most of my friends have guessed, but we haven't formally announced it. I'm 7 weeks btw. We have an ultrasound in two days and if we see the heartbeat, then we'll slowly start telling people. I don't plan on posting it on facebook or anything, I'm just going to tell a few people and let the word spread. I'm not going to bother telling my boss, bc as of Friday, I'm leaving my job to stay home with my kids anyway.
My SIL got pregnant and told everyone immediately. She miscarried shortly after. They got pregnant again after a month or so, and waited to tell everyone until the second trimester. I knew I was pregnant immediately and pretty much told the world the day the stick came back pink. (I'm required to tell my employer immediately anyway.) I think it varies by person. To me, it's not awkward for the person who LOST the baby to tell everyone she has had a miscarriage. It's awkward for everyone else. SHE actually just needs support. My cousin miscarried at five months, and was always hurt whenever people avoided the subject. I actually had a close call at 14 weeks, so I don't believe in the 13 week rule, or the second trimester rule. A miscarriage is a miscarriage no matter when it happens and you DO need support all around you. But I know it's different for everyone!
My sis in law told everyone RIGHT away with baby 3 and miscarried shortly after.
We waited until 12 weeks, parents included. We ended up losing our baby at 21 weeks, so its really a crap shoot, and totally personal decision.
My cousin started her 6th week yesterday and told everyone at 4wks (though she wanted to wait, but her sister's friend saw her coming out of the dr's office). The first time she got pregnant she told everyone at about 6wks. She didn't have the luxery of not telling people because she began to actually get a bump (not bloating) at about wk 6. She had a very visable bump at week 8.
I don't have kids yet but I plan on waiting for a while before spilling the beans
Just varies with each person and if someone wants to tell early there shouldn't be any judgement. Most know the risks going in, but if you are trying and are so excited sometimes that is hard. Honestly I'm hoping I get a positive next week. If so I do plan on telling my sister who will be in town the weekend of Mothers day. She lives on the west coast and it would be something I don't want to do over the phone.Plus I plan to have a mothers day lunch with her, my MIL and SIL so it be awesome to have them togethor. Besides I would give strict instructions that no one is to tell. Its my news to share, not theirs and I hate when people spread others good news. I would be about 8 wks if, big if (praying) that it happens. If not I still don't plan to tell anyone until after the first appt. But I also don't hide stuff well. My cousin told people the day of the stick test and I felt bad bc she got more shocked responses but it was mostly bc she called everyone right after at 7am. I won't do that bc despite many objections, you can get a false positive. Just do what makes you feel comfortable. I know when my sister miscarried, everyone knew before and there was no ackwardness just love and support. I hate that some say it would be ackward to tell then miscarry.
I have no intentions of telling anyone but immediate family members (parents, siblings) and maybe 2 close friends until after the first trimester. 75% of all pregnant ladies I know had a miscarriage on their first one....so despite the excitment, I fear the pain of having to let everyone know about a miscarriage more.
I waited two months to tell close family and about four to tell everyone else. We just wanted to make sure everything was going well before making announcements to the world.
We don't plan on telling anyone but our parents. At all. They'll just realize when they see I don't drink anymore (I have my glass of wine every day at dinner); or else they'll eventually see the bump and ask.
See egb, I have a co-worker who did that. We work many shifts together and she's always asking me about my pregnancy and how it's going etc. Well, come to find out recently (because she can't hide it anymore) that she's due a week after me. I felt like the whole situation was SO awkward, because here I was going on and on about things (at her prompting) and her whole pregnancy was a secret.
I mean how do you really broach the subject after that?!
When I got pregnant, I told everyone right away at 5 1/2 weeks, I then at 10 weeks I had miscarriage.. So next time I think it will be easier to just wait to tell everyone.. I will probably tell my mom & sister right away tho.
It is odd that she would prompt you on the subject though... Without announcing to every one, I would've brought it up during a conversation with you since we're talking about it and going through similar things...
For me, it's just that outside my family, I can't picture myself making a big announcement on something that actually concerns just us, really... But that's us, we don't like being in the spotlight.
We didn't really tell about our engagement either, people just asked when they saw the ring; and eventually, everyone knew. It's different than hiding it.
I have a friend who didn't tell her coworkers until she was about 20 weeks. I had never heard of anyone waiting so long (she was showing by then so I think someone confronted her), but why should you have to announce earlier than that if you feel uncomfortable? Personally, I don't think I would mind telling my close friends and family early on but I felt really weird telling my coworkers when I got engaged and pregnancy seems like a way more intimate topic.
I suffered two early miscarriages, but with this baby we still told our immediate family the good news. I also blogged about it, but that was because I had blogged about all of my fertility problems and trials with my readers - I felt they deserved it. Miscarriage is, but I don't think should be, a very "hushed up" topic. I think it's better to get support from the people who love you than suffer in silence, but that's my opinion.
MY SIL and BIL told us the night they found out from the stick. They had an appointment with a Dr a few weeks later (it was yesterday) to confirm everything. I dont think I would have the patience to wait until I was in my 2nd trimester! I cant keep a secret!
I think we will try to wait until we've had prenatal testing, which is 12-20 weeks depending on how much testing you have done. I am paranoid about there being severe complications and I know in that situation, FI and I would consider terminating the pregnancy, and our family members would not agree or be supportive. It would be hard for me to pretend it was a miscarriage, too, especially with my mom who is nosy, so I plan on waiting until we have the all clear.
I could understand letting your parents and/sibilings know right away, but I don't think we will tell anyone else until the 2nd trimester. Growing up I've always heard that you should wait till the first 3 months are over but I don't think people really follow that anymore...
Take for instance facebook. There are people I went to HS with posting pictures of their positive pregnancy tests, random belly shots, and even scanned images of their sonograms the second these things are done! To me that's a little much and a little too private to be posting for all to see, but thats their deal.
we told parents and a few of our very best friends early on, but didn't tell anyone else until we got the results from the first trimester screening (at 12 weeks). But its really up to you - the reason people wait, is because most miscarriages occur in the first trimester, and if it does happen, it can be hard to have lots of well meaning people ask you how the pregnancy is going. I waited because this would be hard for me - I would want those I love the most to comfort me but to not have to retell everyone what happened. But some people tell everyone because they figure they will need the support from everyone if something does happen.
My first pregnancy, we only told my mom and my sister right away. I miscarried just before 10 weeks, and I was glad they were the only ones who knew. Yes, it is important to have emotional support (I definitely spent a lot of time crying on the phone with my mom), but it depends on you as an individual. I am an introvert and dealing with too many people, no matter how sympathetic and kind they may be, is exhausting for me. If I'd have had to tell a whole lot of people about the miscarriage, it would have been even worse than it already was for me.
This pregnancy, again, I only told my mom and sister right away. I told the rest of my family and closest friends after 10 weeks. We waited until seeing a very active little person on the 12 week ultrasound before telling anyone else. I think after the miscarriage, I was afraid to believe in the second pregnancy. Until I heard the heartbeat for the first time, I was almost 100% sure I'd lose this one, too.
I announced my pregnancy a couple of weeks after I found out. I dont see the problem in announcing it on facebook, i'm definetly that friend that you have that does that. I figure, if you my friend on facebook, you should care about important things in my life, and that is super important. :)
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how soon do you announce you are preggo?? just wondering what you did or what you've heard of your gal pals doing