Post # 1
So, a coworker/friend of mine and his wife just had a baby… yesterday… and several people from the office have gone and visited. As a matter of fact, before baby was born, my friend was asking if people were going to come to the hospital and visit while they were still there recovering. This seems very new to me, but I am in now way a baby etiquette queen, and I know it depends on the couple, but when is a good time to visit? When they are all home and settled? After a day or so in the hosipital?
Here is the sticking point for me: in no way has the wife/mom ever expressed to me that she wanted visitors in the hospital, this is all coming from her husband— who I am not sure understands that she may not want the open door.
Post # 3
Sorry but from my experience of friends and family I know….THAT IS COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE. I would turn co-workers away. Give me a break.
Nice gesture but do people not think about things before they do them?
Post # 4
I personally would only want immediate family at the hospital (siblings and our parents). Beyond that I would prefer everyone waits until I’m settled at home. So I guess about a week after birth (assuming no complications) would be about the time that I would be willing to have friends visit.
Post # 5
Yeah, other than the grandparents I did not want visitors. mothers are super tired about having the baby.
Post # 6
@Mrs_Amanda: I would wait until mom and baby are home and SHE gives you the OK. I wouldn’t want to see my coworkers AT ALL!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Mrs_Amanda: So uncool of the husband. Unless mom herself invited me, I would not visit her and the new baby at the hospital.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I would definitely wait at least a week or two after they’ve been home– longer if I’m not close to them. My babe is due in December, and I expect my husband, my brother and sister-in-law and my best friend to be there… everyone else can wait until we’re home and the shock has worn off.
Post # 9
in the hospital and for the first week afterwards im only allowing immediate family (siblings and parents) but i know some women dont have a problem with visitors.
i would wait if it were me, and when you do visit keep it very brief, bring them some food and offer help. dont expect to be entertained or overstay. god if my husband told someone it was an open door policy i think id set him on fire haha
Post # 10
…That is so strange.
I would wait at least a week after they came home, and I’d bring dinner for them.
Post # 11
Ok, thank you! I thought I was the weird one for insisting on waiting when a lot of other people had either already gone by last night… like 5 hours after birth or are planning on going today!
Post # 12
@Mrs_Amanda: I had lots of friends visit at the hospital. Most if not all had the good sense to avoid the day after the birth, but many came the day or so after that (i.e. 2 or more days after the birth, I had C-sections so was in hospital about 5 days each time).
I preferred visitors at hospital to at home, because they can only really stay for a few minutes. Whereas at home it’s harder to kick them out.
So I say visit the hospital 2 or more days after the birth, i.e. around now since you posted a day ago. If you do visit at home a week or two later, keep it short.
p.s. If the husband says visitors are welcome, then visitors are welcome. Why does it need to come from the wife? The husband can speak for the wife (and vice versa).
Post # 13
One of my best girlfriends just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy via c section, and because she had to be induced and unfortunately still had to have a c section due to complication, she was in the hospital for so many days that her husband called 2 of us girls and asked if we would go and visit, saying that she was getting super stir crazy. So, as her best girl friends, we went and visited just 15 hours after she gave birth. Normally I’d think twice about it, but it sounds like she really wanted the company. So I guess my answer is that normally I’d follow the lead of both parents. I’d like to think that Mom & Dad have discussed if they’d like visitors in the hospital, and I’d trust Dad to speak on behalf of Mom. But it’s a fine line, and I’m pretty sure every situation is different!
Post # 14
@Mrs_Amanda: I would not want anyone except for my immediate family and my best friend to visit me in the hospital. I think coworkers visiting is weird…
Post # 15
I think it’s really easy to say that you would want visitors before you go through labor. You don’t know exactly what it will be like, because each time and each person is different. When my cousin (who I’m close with) delivered her kids, I would text her and ask if there was a time I could come up and visit. With the first baby, there wasn’t, and I was fine with that. With the second and third, we set up a time a day or so in advance, and I still texted before leaving to make sure all was good. It does sound like you have the best interests of the parents at heart, which is good :-). Some people don’t quite understand everything that is involved (and to be honest, I didn’t until I saw people close to me give birth).
Post # 16
I liked it when people visited me at the hospital when I had my son, before and after. I had a c-section though so I was there for 4 or 5 days. And as long as it was brief, don’t hang out for hours, I needed to feed baby, sleep, etc.
I didn’t like visitors when I was first at home. Sometimes it’s nice to get a visit after a couple/few weeks home when you start getting cabin fever.