Post # 1
I’m not TTC, but I will be within the next 2 years so obviously I’m watching all my friends and family a bit closer when they’re expecting/new parents. The common waiting period is about 2-3 months, isn’t it? I even read on here that some people wait 4 months and tell people just before they start to noticeably show, as to keep it private for a little while longer. Some say its an old fashioned rule, since miscarriage was much more common back then, but I still think it’s nice to keep it private (just between you and DH & possibly immediate family) before telling everyone else in the fbook world.
Okay so my younger cousin announced her pregnancy the day she found out about it on Facebook. I don’t even think her boyfriend knew before it was on her wall.
like her sister wrote on her wall before she announced it “Hey don’t you have something to tell everyone, it’s going to get out sooner or later!”
and then later that day she told everyone. later on, after she went to the doctors office, she found our she was a little over 2 and a half weeks. that is so early on. Oh my gosh I would be so stressed out if I knew everyone knew and I was that early. Nothing against her, it just seemed odd to me. But she’s now healthy and at 5 months so, it worked out for her.
But anyway, when do you think the best time to tell DH, best time to tell immediate family/extensed family, close friends, co-workers, and then lastly Facebook?
Post # 2
First of all, I think miscarriages are just as common as they’ve always been.
Anyway, it’s a personal decision when to announce a pregnancy. I told immediate family and my best friend within the first 10 weeks, and I waited until I was about 16 weeks to announce on Facebook. I was still wary about annoucing at 16 weeks to be honest.
You have to think, “Would I be okay announcing a miscarriage to this person?”. If not, I would wait to tell them.
Post # 3
I waited until I was 11 weeks this pregnancy, but recently I read this article and realized maybe I didn’t need to wait so long: http://pagesix.com/2014/09/03/why-jill-duggar-announced-her-pregnancy-so-early/
to explain further, I’m pro-life, a nurse and very interested in all things OB, and to me, a baby is a baby at conception just as it is at 11/12 weeks. my baby won’t look the same at 12 weeks when i announce as it will at 40 weeks gestation but that doesn’t make her any less of a child. Losing a child early may be easier for some, I don’t know And I’m so lucky I don’t, but for me it would be almost just as devastating. The only thing that would make it any different for me is less time to imagine my child, but my child’s death, no matter what the gestational age would be devastating, and I believe I would need support even in the event of an early misscarriage, which is the reason people seem to wait to announce.
I know not everyone would agree, but my view probably isn’t the most popular so I figured I’d share.
Post # 4
Cory_loves_this_girl: true! And good point about miscarriages. It’s still not talked about so you never really know who has possibly had one. It’s one of those things that are “shameful” when they shouldn’t be. But alas, it’s personal, and tragic, so it’s understandable people wouldn’t want to plaster it all over social media for everyone to see.
Post # 5
Not pregnant yet, TTC, but we’ve already decided that we’re going to limit it to our parents, DH’s siblings (mine are younger and have a hard time with secrets) and a very select couple of friends first. I’m at increased risk for miscarriage and I don’t want to have to tell everyone that I miscarried. But, we do want the support from the friends that we’ve chosen, no matter what happens. My thought is that just DH and I will know for the first couple weeks, probably tell parents around 6-8 weeks, and our other friends at 8-10 weeks. Ideally, I’d like to wait until 16 weeks to announce to the world, but my mom always showed really early and I’m guessing I’ll do the same. It’s always been hard for me to hide extra weight in my belly.
Post # 6
LadySmurph: sorry that link doesn’t work. Or it didn’t work for me. 🙁 I actually love the Duggers. and am also pro-life, so I really was interested in the article. 😛
Post # 7
silkspectre94: I don’t always agree with the Duggar’s but I do really appreciate their values. And the article made me think. Let me see if this one works:
Post # 8
I think it depends a lot as well on what your pregnancy does to you physically. For some women, they “hide” it very well far into their pregnancy. A friend of mine experienced pretty severe morning sickness very early on, so that kind of gave it away to her family and co-workers.
Assuming that all goes well, I would wait until I’m somewhere in the 10-12 week range. I think Facebook just brings out the attention seekers to the extreme, and pregnant or not, they are looking for some type of validation in what they post. I just roll my eyes, ignore them and move on.
Post # 9
I’m the only one who has voted for 4 plus months so far, I see. I would want to wait until I could be reasonably sure it was a “sure thing” so after the high risk for miscarriage has passed, for many of the same reasons PPS have expressed. I would want to keep it private for as long as possible, to avoid the pain of having to tell so many people about a miscarriage. We’d tell our parents sooner though, not sure when, probably when we just couldn’t hold in the excitement any more!
OP what makes you think miscarriages are less common now than in the past? Roughly a third of pregnancies result in spontaneous abortion in the first trimester, due to chromosomal abnormalities, which is a biological fact just as true now as it ever was.
Anyway, those are scary odds, so – would wait until I was showing or 4 months, whichever comes sooner.
Post # 10
MrsSnowMountain: I’ve only started looking into pregnancy related things recently, since we’re not even TTC at the moment, but honestly I’ve heard this statement from many different people throughout my life. Guess you can’t believe everything you hear. 🙂
Post # 11
We waited to tell his parents at 10 weeks. We told mine the next week when we saw them. I told friends at 13 weeks and facebook I think at 14 weeks. It’s a personal choice for everyone.
Post # 12
LadySmurph: So true! I’ve had two mmcs and a cp and all of them were my babies. I’ve even found ways to keep their memories alive. That said, I only told some people about each pregnancy and wont be announcing on Facebook (those announcements are like daggers through my heart and you never know what people are going through.everyone important to me will know).
Post # 13
phoebephoebo: I’m sorry, what does an mmc and a cp stand for? I’m sorry for your loss, as I can determine it has something to do with a miscarriage but I never know the acronyms on here so I always ask.
Post # 14
We personally waited until after our first OB appointment/ultrasound at 9/10 weeks to share the news with our parents and siblings, about 11/12 weeks for the remainder of our close family/friends, and then made our fb announcement at about 14 weeks. I think this all really depends on how you feel about things. Everyone is different! Go with what feels right for you.
Post # 15
I personally would wait until the second trimester to announce when the chance of miscarriage drops dramatically. However, I’ve known people that have “announced” after hearing the heartbeat as their doctors told them that their chance of miscarriage was low.
Really the only reasons to wait are for privacy and to not have to tell everyone and their dog if you potentially have a miscarriage. Some people don’t mind doing that. Also, you can never really remove all risk – I have a friend who had everything go perfectly until the last week of her pregnancy.
I’d also tell your cousin that she’s unlikely to find out that she’s 2.5 weeks pregnant – the egg probably wouldn’t have even implanted yet at that point. 😉