Post # 1
I just got engaged and am wondering how soon is too soon to establish a wedding party. My best friend from elementary school lives in chicago and I only get to see her once or twice a year and will be in town for a wedding next weekend. I want to ask her to be in my wedding party but is it too soon?? I know people normally wait a while, but i really want to do it in person!
Post # 3
I don’t see any reason to wait unless you have some doubt that you’ll want to ask her at all
Post # 4
I think any earlier than say, 9 months out is too early. So much can change and it’s so much harder to remove someone than to add them later on. I know you want to do it in person but maybe there’s a way you could make a visit a little later?
Post # 5
I asked my best friend the day before he proposed. I didn’t know he was proposing so soon but called her the minute I knew the ring was ordered. She’s in Michigan, I’m in South Carolina so I used that as my excuse to call her. Then I called her after he proposed again lol.
We waited until the day after to tell everyone else, we had to be sure his parents and mine knew before the whole swarm of people knew.
Once you have that ring, tell the world!!!!
Post # 6
I asked my bridesmaids last week (engaged 1 month, wedding over a year away). They are all ladies who have been in my life for 12+ years, so I’m not worried about them going anywhere!
Post # 7
I’m planning on asking my bridesmaids around July, but I know its early. Just don’t ask unless you’re absolutely sure. Also I’m mostly waiting because I’m not sure how large of a bridal party I want and I don’t want to ask people at different times because my friends will talk and might think getting asked later than someone else means they were 2nd choice. Which isn’t true, but I can see where they could come up with that. I’m planning on sending “will you be my maid” boxes though because most of them are out of state.
Post # 8
I asked my one bridesmaid before my Fiance proposed (I figured out he was proposing and she’s in Calgary….so I messaged her….:D)
I was going to wait with the rest of my bridesmaids until my sister said “so am I in your wedding party?” *eyeroll* so that killed it….and I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor that night, then at christmas I asked my sister to be a bridesmaid (yeah she was not happy to not be Maid/Matron of Honor….but her expectation of being asked right away made me realize that she would be making my wedding all about her….so I didn’t want that….)
I think the sooner the better…..since it can get pricey being a bridesmaid, it’s good if they can plan early to budget for it…..
Post # 9
One of my best friends asked me within an hour of the proposal! Her now-husband took her to the city where I live, proposed, and after enjoying their new engagement for a little bit immediately drove to find my boyfriend and I for a mini celebration/to show the ring off. She asked me right there. I think you can ask whenever, so long as you know you can count on them and that the number of people you ask matches the number your fiance asks.
Post # 10
i asked 3 of mine right after telling them (my 2 sisters and FI’s sister) and i asked the other one shortly after that (best friend from college). At that point, my wedding was almost a yaer and a half away.
@qwerty2k1: no one says you and your Fiance have to have the same #! 🙂
Post # 11
Thanks for the advice! At first I felt insane, but I have been planning on how I was going to ask them for a while, so i am ready to start getting crafty! I’m having dinner with my (hopefully!) Maid/Matron of Honor and another Bridesmaid or Best Man this week and I just want to ask them already! I know that no matter what I want these ladies there and dont want to wait just because my fiance needs more time. Plus i’ve already told him he can have as many as he wants!
Post # 12
i asked all of mine within a few weeks of my engagement, so it was over a year before my wedding.
my biggest reason for telling them way in advance was because i knew it would be an expense for them (even tho i wasn’t going to pick out anything super expensive) and i wanted them to have time to save if they needed to.
i was involved in a wedding last year and i was asked only 3 months before and i had to go out right away and buy a pricey dress. i was not thrilled about it at all, especially because it was for a girl who i’m not even that close to (she’s a friend of my fiance’s). that was something i didn’t want to do to my girls.
Post # 13
I think as long as you know for sure you want them in your bridal party then go ahead and ask them.
I always think a safe measure is 9 months – 1 year away from the wedding to ask, but that’s just my personal opinion.
Post # 14
I started asking the day after I got engaged. I don’t think it’s ever too soon!
Post # 15
Ask anyone you know you’d have no matter what happens to the wedding – ex.: it gets way smaller, the whole idea of when or where or how changes. Asking a large wedding party and then having to scale it down, or to move the wedding to a location they can’t make it to, can be nasty drama you don’t want. Wait until you know more for sure to ask all of them, but anyone who’s Maid/Matron of Honor material, you could go ahead and ask.
Post # 16
as soon as i’d told our parents and families i asked my girls, about a week after our engagement. i’m British so i’m paying for their dresses. for me i just wanted my closest gals to be there to share the journey! they’ve been in my life for years so i know they’ll be there. i don’t think you should wait if you’re sure about them!