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Well think about it this way - they do this all the time. They'd rather you let them know you're not going with them then string them along. What I did for one was play the budget card - "We've had to make some changes to our budget and unfortunately will not be able to use your services" - something like that. They'll never know.
As for "acceptance" emails - that should be easy. A simple "We would love to work with you" will do the trick. It's money in their pocket - I'm sure they don't care how you phrase it!
I guess I'm a jerk because I never sent an email out to tell the vendors I'd chosen someone else unless they directly asked me. If that was the case, I said something along the lines of, "thank you so much for meeting with us. We really liked your work but we are going with another vendor. We'll be sure to recommend your services to future brides and grooms!". Nothing formal but it got the job done. This is a business, they're used to rejection so its no biggie. And with the vendors I'd chosen, we just went right into money negotiation and then once we got the a number we liked we signed the deposit check. Easy as pie!
Thank you for posting this thread - - I am meeting with a wedding planner on Monday 1/11 and although we're meeting to talk about her services the month of the wedding - I know I won't be using her. I haven't spoken with other wedding planners either. Its just her prices are higher than three others I have researched; the toughest part is that she is a friend of the gal doing my hair and makeup. Not only that but hair and makeup gal also gave me the name of a great florist who I am using. I feel terrible and don't want to make it awkward for my hair/makeup gal... I didn't want to meet on Monday but I didn't know how to say 'no' without hearing her out........
We did reject an 80’s cover band we were looking into. We simply thanked them for their quote and let them know we were hoping for more music time (they only play a total of 2 hrs 30 min.) We look forward to boogieing to their music should our paths cross at another event! Cheers and Happy New Year!
If you meet with a vendor, and they send some kind of follow up email, I do think it is proper etiquette to send them an email to let them know you are not booking them. Nothing is needed other than:
Thanks, [Name], for meeting with us. We have decided to go with another [pro]. Best of luck!
As a wedding pro myself, it's a pet peeve of mine when couples I meet with, and whom I write follow up emails to, don't take a few minutes to just say they've gone in another direction.
here's part of an "acceptance" email i wrote--
"Thanks so much again for taking the time to meet with us-- we really love your work and are so excited to work with you! We would love to move forward on a contract."
and a rejection--
"Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with me a few weeks ago, and for sending this information. I'm such a fan of your work, and it was so great to hear about your philosophy and style! Unfortunately, the package that we'd want is out of our budget, and we've decided to go with another photographer. Sorry for any inconvenience, and all the best!"
that was wordier than some of the other rejection emails i've written, but that photographer spent a lot of time talking to me! however, she also did that before sending me her prices, which were astronomical...
I'm kind of proactive about it. When I make the initial contacts I always thank them for their info, tell them taht we're still looking into our options and working on our budget and *if* we have any questions we'll let them know. that way if we do want to book them we can proceed and make sure they still have our date available, and if we don't they aren't really expecting a call.
As a wedding photographer, I'm know I'm not the right photographer for every couple, and if I'm not right for them, chances are they're not right for me, either. If it's a rejection, I don't take it personally.
I always appreciate when a couple communicates their decision to me. After all, we've all invested time to chat by phone and/or get together for a meeting, and communicating your decision allows you to feel complete and business-like about the process.
Also, I understand that in writing a rejection it's very easy to say it's about the money. I've done that many times, too. When I do it, though, I usually also know that it's something other than or in addition to the money that is the main reason for the rejection. It's normal for us to not want to hurt anyone's feelings. But your real reason is usually very valuable information to the vendor. So when you can bring yourself to be as honest as possible, you're doing yourself and others a meaningful service.
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So we're about to book both photographers and caterers. I'm finding writing both accepting and rejecting emails to be equally awkward and challenging, so I'm hoping for some help. For accepting, I just need to be able to say something along the lines of, "so we've finished our search and we'd love to book you!" without it sounding like I'm a gameshow host or something. "Congratualtions, you've won the coveted position of photographing OUR wedding!"
Also, rejection, even worse - I've drafted an email that just says, "thanks for meeting with us, we're going with somebody else" and I want to close out with something like "best of luck in the future" because I actually mean it.
I think this is hard for me right now because I've been getting a lot of job application rejections and feel like no matter what I say, it's going to sound fake and the person is going to feel rejected.