How to accept that not everyone will like you…?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Are there people in your life who dislike you for silly reasons/no reason?
    Yes - Quite a few actually : (17 votes)
    8 %
    Yes - A handful or two : (46 votes)
    21 %
    Yes - But just one or two persons : (44 votes)
    20 %
    No, none at all. I am loved by all : (6 votes)
    3 %
    It really bothers me when people don't like me : (23 votes)
    11 %
    It *might* bother me if I'm not liked but not very much or very often : (37 votes)
    17 %
    I don't give a damn if people like me or not : (45 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1373 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @Arshim:  I can relate to this, I really can.

    I like to say “do whatever, their opinion doesn’t matter” but deep inside, I think we all want people to like us. 

    I think you just have to live everyday without worrying about it too much. Will it cross your mind Once and a while? Probably. I think the trick is no dwelling on it. Sometimes, there will be people who don’t like us. It happens. It sucks but it happens. You can let it pull on your heart a little, just don’t let t change who you are!!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Well, think of it this way – do *you* like everyone you know? I sure don’t, and so I know naturally there will be people who don’t like me. You don’t click with everyone, and you can’t please everyone.

    I think looking into therapy to understand the root of your insecurities in this would really be helpful. I used to be very insecure and worry about how people felt about me, and while I still do sometimes (especially when things don’t go well, or I feel left out), talking about why this wasn’t necessarily as personal as felt with someone objective was very useful.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    4656 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    There are a few (not many, but more than one or two) people who dislike me for silly reasons. Most of the time, it does not bother me. It can bother me at times, especially if I like or respect that person otherwise.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4656 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    There are a few (not many, but more than one or two) people who dislike me for silly reasons. Most of the time, it does not bother me. It can bother me at times, especially if I like or respect that person otherwise.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I admit it stinks, especially when the person acts on it in an immature and insensitive way.  Its totally fine not to like someone – not all of us get along – but no need to show it, especially since we’re adults!  

    My coworker of 3 years has ignored me since the moment we met (literally looks through me).  He is friendly with almost everyone but me.  I swear I’ve never given him a reason to dislike me, and how can he dislike someone he doesn’t even know?  It bugs me from time to time, but I don’t let it get to me.  Focus on the people that do love you, and let others be.  It is likely their issue and not yours.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4413 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    There are plenty of people who don’t like me, and I definitely struggle with it. it’s a tough pill to swallow when you know in your heart that you haven’t done anything to deserve it. 

     

    I deal with it by trying to figure out WHY they don’t like me. And if that reason is BS but there’s nothing I can do to change their outlook, then I just let go of feeling bad. I can’t help it if someone wants to hate me for a stupid reason. I can only make changes if they hate me for a GOOD reason. And if I feel like their complaint has merit, I work on being a better person in that regard. but if someone wants to hate me because I’m a better singer than them or something dumb like that, well then that’s their loss!

    Post # 9
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @Arshim:  I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really just have to let it go. Not every person has a personality that will mesh with yours. It’s a battle that you don’t need to fight

    Post # 10
    Member
    6048 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    The first day of kindergarten my mom told me… Not all people are going to like you, not matter what you do and you might not know why, and that’s ok, because you aren’t going to like all people either.  You can’t be mean or spiteful to people that don’t like you, but you also aren’t to let them walk all over you.  You, in turn can’t be mean to the people that you don’t like.  

    I think of it as their loss, and why would I want to waste energy/time trying to get them to like me. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    i too struggle iwth being a people pleaser. It’s really hurting the quality of my life. I bend over backwards and am hurt when others don’t do the same. It also cripples me when someone doesn’t like me. Intellectually, I understand that not everyone can like each other. Still, it hurts. I understand. I think just accepting that soemone doesn’t like me and sitting with the bad feeling helps. It helps so i can feel it and say “okay, i survived” tha tway i dont live a life where i’m doing everything i can to avoid someone not liking me. Life is too short to live for other people, gotta live for yourself! I have realized 100 percent there are and will be people that don’t like me. I think that my wedding was a wake up call for me. I realized how much i am there for other people adn how that wasn’t really reciprocated. I realized though i may act like an amazing friend to others, that doesn’t mean that the friendship itself is amazing. That being myself would bring me to my actual friends. not sure if this made sense i just have so many conflicts, ideas, about this topic!

    Post # 12
    Member
    42490 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Arshim:    I just remind myself that there are people that I don’t like, so why would I expect everyone to like me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    oh this is something helpful someone once said.

    Everyone has the right to like/not like someone. So if someone doesn’t like you, you can’t control that, they have the “right” to not like you. And i thought about it, and that is true

    Post # 14
    Member
    2087 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Arshim:  The older I get the less I care whether people like me or not. I am far more concerned with whether I actually like them to tell you the truth. I mean, why get all fussed up about someone not liking you if you actually don’t like THEM as a person? 

    Also, I firmly believe that it is none of my business what others think of me. It really has nothing to do with me so I don’t worry about it. 

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