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My feeling is that most fo the "rules" are either for very very traditional brides, or those with very very formal weddings, and even then only if the couple wants to follow them. Most of the rules are too stuffy for me!
I'm "stuffy" I guess. Proper etiquette is important to me and believe it or not, is noticed.
I was polite and formal in my invitations; I spelled out state names and "North", etc, on streets, but I didn't do Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so if I call people (aunts, uncles, friends) by their first names. I chose to say "Bob and Jane Smith" even though that's not the most formal or correct way to do it.
I did know about the difference between wording for religious ceremonies, but ours said, "we ask that you join us..."
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Beekeeper
So I basically had to cruise the net finding the proper way to address my invites, because let's face it, I was clueless. Here is what I found on the same page:
Woops. Screwed the pooch on that last one! Did anyone else throw the traditional etiquette out on their invites?