How to announce engagement/elopement?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jayco3:  I think the big question here is why aren’t they supportive? Why did their unsupportive actions make you decide to take a break? Were they impacting your relationship?

Post # 4
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jayco3:  I can’t know your full situation, but if it were me I’d tell my immediate family a few days before the elopement to give them a last chance to do some soul-searching and maybe get over themselves and decide to be there for you. Even if they don’t, you will have at leats given them a chance! internet hugs, and sorry they’re beign so unsupportive.

Post # 5
welliesMember
1425 posts
Bumble bee

We’re having a private ceremony. Our current plan is tell immediate family and close friends beforehand and announce it to everyone else afterward.

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I would tell your family before you elope, and keep an open mind about it. If they decide to be supportive, great! If not, then at least you’ll be prepared for it. It sounds like your family hasn’t been suportive for awhile now, so you probably won’t be surprised if they are not happy with your marriage plans. I think your happiness is the most important thing. You say you tried to make your mom happy by taking a break with your SO, but it didn’t work. So it sounds like you have tried to mend things with your family and haven’t been successful. I’d definitely tell them in person and let them sort out their feelings. Maybe now that your marriage is definitely happening, they will decide to be there for you and be supportive. Good luck!

Post # 8
welliesMember
1425 posts
Bumble bee

Since some of our siblings live far away, I think we’ll tell them over the phone. We will tell everyone else in person.

Good luck and please keep us posted!

P.S. Welcome to the hive! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I knew that my mom and step dad would be happy for us (to be fair, my mom was the only person who knew ahead of time and I swore her to secrecy. I was going to not tell her, but I tell her almost everything and I felt wrong not telling her, if that makes sense). My husband called his parents and told them. We told a few people via facebook by inviting them to dinner. We ordered some postcards (used Vistaprint) that had some photos on them and mailed those to a lot of people

Post # 10
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

Thats a hard decision since your family is unsupportive. Maybe how the relationship looks from the outside has made them have their reservations. All you can do is let them know you two are not playing games and are real about where the relationship is headed. Maybe there needs to be a family meeting with you, your FI, and parents present. Let them know that you are doing this no matter what, but you would love to have their support. Your relationship with your family might be worse if you just did it without telling them. At least by telling them, they are getting warned…regardless of their reactions.

Post # 11
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

I can see how it would be difficult to take a 22 year-old seriously when within 6 months there’s an engagement, that engagement is off because the family doesn’t approve, and then that engagement is back on again with one month to the wedding.

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