How to answer "who gives this bride"

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Following to see what others say.  My dad passed away 2 weeks ago. Getting married in July.  My cousin who I grew up with is giving me away.  We are going to dedicate a dance to my dad, but we haven’t talked about what he’s going to say.  

Post # 3
1116 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry for both your lossess. I’ve never been in a situation like this so am not sure if this is of any help.  My only idea would be to answer 2nd dad/cousin on behalf of or with the blessing of bio dad. 

Post # 4
9856 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

‘her parents and I do’

‘her mother and I do on behalf of her father’

Post # 5
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

sorry for your loss, my father passed away a few years ago and my mother walked me down the aisle.  maybe they don’t do the giving away part in jewish weddings, but our officiant didn’t ask this question. 

my mom walked me down the aisle, we greeted DH at the alter.  my mom kissed me, kissed my DH then took her seat.


Post # 6
20 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

Same situation and getting married on Saturday – I suggested the following to my 2nd dad and he said “I will make sure that your friends and guests understand how much you and Grant are loved by your Mother and Dick and how much joy your wedding will bring them and that I am but the messenger of that Love and Joy!” – so feel free to message me after June 1 and I will be glad to share what he said. These were my suggestions for him – maybe you can work with them to make it work for you!


    <li class=”li1″>”With the knowledge that Dick and Ann loved and supported this union as much as I do, I give my blessing.” (my mom and dad have both passed away)
    <li class=”li1″>”On behalf of those who are with us, and those who have gone before, I give my blessing.” 


Hope some of this help! Katherine



Post # 7
3643 posts
Sugar bee

I also haven’t heard the question being asked – like in decades, although I attend mostly Protestant ceremonies, in PA. I didn’t include it in my own wedding 36 years ago. My Dad kissed me, I said “Thanks, Daddy!,” and he walked right over my train, to get to his seat. 

Post # 8
744 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I was recently in a wedding where they did not ask this question; after the bride’s father did the hand-off, he went to his seat, where he remained standing along with the rest of the parents of the bride and groom.  The priest then asked if the families supported the marriage, and they said they did.

If you do want to specifically include your dad in this moment though, I like @MsGinkgo ‘s wording.

Post # 9
405 posts
Helper bee

You don’t have to include that part, your ‘second dad’ could just walk you down the aisle then join you and your FI’s hands or something.  Or, he could say “her family and I do”.

Post # 11
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re actually skipping the entire line … my father will walk me down the aisle. 

Post # 12
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I am skipping this part. My dad will kiss my cheek & sit down. It’s definitely not necessary! 

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