How To Approach Loud Upstairs Neighbors About Their Stomping/Noise?

posted 5 years ago in Home
  • poll: What should we do about neighbors?
    Go upstairs and chew them out for being rude. Screw being polite about it. : (7 votes)
    8 %
    Go upstairs and leave a note on their door anonymously. : (27 votes)
    29 %
    Complain to front office again (and again, and again). : (17 votes)
    18 %
    Call the cops and make a noise complaint. : (14 votes)
    15 %
    Other (explain below). : (27 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Go upstairs (armed with baked goods) and make FRIENDS with them.


    I’ve always found that if you’re friendly and on good terms with your neighbors they are much more considerate and willing and able to think of you and not just “another neighbor.”


    Just complaining to mgmt nonstop probably won’t fix things…

    Post # 4
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Banging on the ceiling is the worst thing you can do. My neighbor did this to me, and I had no idea what the sound was, I just assumed it was the pipes. The banging continued for months until he finally came upstairs to discuss it. So, a lot of wasted time on his part.

    Post # 5
    9218 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Other – ask them nicely?  A lot of apartments have thin walls/floors, so they’re probably not being as awful as it seems.  If you’re nice about it, they may try to be more considerate.  But there’s not much they can do about kids running around – kids will be kids.  Sometimes that’s just one of the downsides (so to speak) of living in a downstairs apartment…  :/

    Post # 6
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    If its kids that are causing the noise, your best bet is asking management if they have another apartment you could move into. Kids will very rarely, if ever, think, “I’m creating a lot of noise. I bet the downstairs neighbors don’t appreciate it” even if their parents tell them to keep it down.

    I lived in a townhouse growing up next to a lady who lived with her eldery mother, and worked the nightshift in a hospital. She was always complaining to my mom about us making noise in the downstairs family room/play room during the day, and I distinctly remember thinking: 1. Wtf, it’s 2 pm on a Saturday! and 2. We weren’t even being that noisy!! So good luck getting through to kids.

    Post # 7
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I agree that you should approach them about it nicely.

    Post # 8
    357 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    Be nice!  Really, really try that first.  Being nasty will just get their backs up and make them hate you.  They’re not going to want to do you any favors, and may just make it worse out of spite.  Try to get them on your side, then explain good naturedly about the problem.  Maybe say something like, “Do you hear us much from upstairs?  I’ve noticed the walls in this place seem really thin.  I can hear it when people just walk up the stairs, and when kids are playing it’s like they’re right in our living room, so I’ve been worrying about what you probably hear from us!”

    They may have no idea how sound carries, and immediately assuming that they’re being malicious about it won’t help anyone.

    Post # 10
    540 posts
    Busy bee

    Lesson learned: never, ever live below anyone. However , I have had to complain to management and call police on people who lived below me and beside me too. 

    One neighbor below me had a St. Bernard.  and  smoked pot on the balcony all day. Finally they broke up and moved away. One neighbor below me, I just called the police on their domestic issues every time I heard a peep out of them. They finally left. One neighbor beside me had a kid with the banging head on wall at 4 a.m. issue. I complained to management because I knew there were vacant units available with an outside wall for the kids to bang on. I know its a real issue, I feel bad for the parents, but guess what it’s not my issue, so theydid move them. The one time I lived under someone, I was convinced that they threw the microwave oven on the floor a few times a day. I didn’t complain because it wasnt constant, but lucky for me, they flooded my apartment while I was gone and destroyed everything in it, and we were evicted because it was uninhabitable. Yay, apartment life. My best advice is move to the top, move to a house, or get out more often.

    Post # 11
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Be really nice and say 

    I am sure you dont realize this, but a lot of noise travels through the floors to our apartment. It is really loud and I am having trouble doing my homework. I know you are trying to keep it down, but I was thinking that maybe a carpet or extra layer of carpet would help with the noise.

    Post # 12
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We have been through this many times over the last few years. My Fiance and I are both graduate students and are at home during the day working fairly often. I think you are approaching this in completely the wrong way. We ended up calling the police for an upstairs neighbor once, but have otherwise had a fairly peaceful relationship with them, stompers, loud partiers and all. I am also a super duper light sleeper and am bothered by noise.

    1. You can’t complain about noise during the day, you won’t have any ground to stand on with management, and certainly not with the police.

    2. They are kids, if the noise is really kids, nothing you can do will change it

    3. I would definitely save calling the police for a late night party when things are going crazy

    4. PPs are completely right, you should make friends with them, go upstairs and and bring them cookies and just mention that you would really appreciate it if they keep the noise down

    5. EARPLUGS AND NOISE MACHINES (get these immediately, you will not regret it) 

    Post # 14
    12250 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Can you switch apartments? Kids are just not going to be quiet!

    Post # 15
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

    I agree with @moriah: 100% – be nice first. being confrontational, or leaving notes (which some people hate because it’s passive aggressive), or banging on the ceiling might just result in them getting irritated with you and retaliating. 

    I had the same exact problem, and the only thing that really helped was to get them to put down area rugs and hallway runners everywhere.  there is not much else that can be done, you can’t really ask people to change the way they walk. it might sound like thunder to you, but the thing is that some hardwood floors are just built super crappy and even small people walking normally sound like elephants on them. 

    if they don’t put down rugs when you ask, then you should bug the landlord to intervene.  keep bugging that landlord if nothing happens.

    Post # 16
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Honestly, I don’t think there is anything you can do about it other than move to a different unit. People have to move around in their apartments and kids play. I think you just ended up with a crappy place. I wouldn’t waste the time of a police officer and maybe you could get some sort of discount from your landlord. I once got one when 3 kids moved in upstairs. Sorry that it sucks!

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