How to ask BMs to pay you back?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
716 posts
Busy bee

Maybe wait until you next speak to them and find a way to ask, if they haven’t paid you already.  There’s no good answer here.  It’s rude of them to put you in a position to have to chase them for money.  And there’s no good way for you to do so.

Post # 3
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016 - Rosewater Room

If it were me, I would send each a private message (however you best communicate, text, email, etc) and just say something along the lines of:

“I hope you’ve been well since the wedding! I wanted to say thank you again for being my bridesmaid and sharing in my day with me. I know things have been hectic, but if you could please send me your portion of the money for the cost of hair and makeup, it would be greatly appreciated! Talk to you soon!”

You are not out of line to ask for that money immediately – $300 is no small sum of money and there’s no reason why you should be out that money in the first place. You’ve been generous enough to cover it on the day when they should have paid themselves, it’s time for them to pay you back, and promptly.

Post # 4
376 posts
Helper bee

Do you do bank online? Just send them an email saying, “Hey BMs, Thanks again for being part of my big day! This is the best email to use if you prefer to e-transfer the $150 for hair/makeup. Otherwise, we can arrange a coffee date, catch up and do it then. :)”

Passive-agressive all the way! hahaha

Post # 8
11598 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

LastGirlStanding:  I would be offended to receive an email like that.  You turn a friendship into a business transaction. 

If you truly can’t let it go, ask them outright.  Don’t do a silly little dance around it – respect your friends enough to let them keep their word, rather than skirting the issue like they’re unreliable.  Personally, I would rather lose $300 than have this really awkward moment of demanding money from a friend.

Post # 9
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015


JiminyCricket: Right now it is a business transaction. As a friend they should’ve respected her enough not to put her in position to pay, knowing well it was optional and they should’ve paid.

 LastGirlStanding:  I love that idea!

texaslemon:  IMO, friends you have to run after for money they owe you aren’t really friends at all!

Post # 10
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


Even though I am not a fan of passive aggression, I actually think your answer makes a lot of sense.

Post # 11
480 posts
Helper bee

Totally the reason why we paid for everything for our wedding!  I’d just let it go if I were you.  

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