Post # 1
My FI and I live in NY but are getting married this August in Idaho. We plan on moving out West in the next 1-2 yrs. It’s not feasible for us to store gifts in Idaho, transport stuff to NY, and when we move we plan on a total liquidation of most of our things.
So…if people plan on giving us a gift, we would love cash for simplicities sake.
People have been asking about our registry and we said we were undecided — until today.
I don’t want to be rude — but I also don’t want to give away great gifts.
How can we best express our predicament to our guests? Mass e-mail? Blog posting? Wait until they ask (but I want to avoid returning or giving away if possible)? We all ready sent our invites with no mention of gifts/registry.
Post # 3
You could list some kind of money registry (like a "new house" or "moving" fund) on your website instead of a traditional store. You could also register at a store close to your house then return everything for gift cards to that store, that you could use at a later date.
Post # 4
We’re doing $ because we’ve lived together for 4 years & have all the housewares already. We want to purchase a home later this year so on our wedding website (mywedding.com) under registries we put ‘Registered at the U.S. Treasury’ or bank of the future Mr. & Mrs. X.
Post # 5
I think it depends a bit on what’s common in your social circle. Some people might feel adamant that they want to buy you gifts. And when I was a student I definitely would have felt uncomfortable giving cash b/c my means were limited…I usually tried to find a really unique and personal gift that I knew the couple would love (or do something like frame a really nice picture of them). So I think having a small registry wouldn’t hurt, if it’s been satisfied everyone else will probably just give cash. I think for the people I know, having a formal registry for a "house fund" etc would probably not be received well, but that people will just give cash anyway. So I guess my answer is that it depends. I also think there’s nothing wrong with putting the word out to your BP and family that you’d prefer cash and letting them be the ones to tell other guests.
Post # 6
I’m in a similar situation. Living in CA and marrying in NY but will likely only be in CA for another year after the wedding. We will be registering because there are many things we will need, but one solution I’ve come across is having a small limited registry for those who prefer to give gifts.
Then, if you have a wedding website, politely have a sentence noting that While gifts are appreciated, because of your living arrangements, well-wishers are encouraged to consider practicality when it comes to gift giving. *wink wink* moolah
Post # 7
You cannot say you want cash and I think that if you even imply it to your guests, it will be sooooo tacky!! If I were you I would just find a charity for them to donate to if you really cannot find anywhere to store gifts, or just not register at all.
If you don’t register it will just leave more room for people to bring a check
Post # 8
One way to urge guests to give you cash is to register for just a few gifts and to have family or friends spread the word. Outright asking for just cash is a hard thing to do…it implies your guests will give you a gift (even though most will anyways…) and is just a tad tacky.
We would prefer cash but most of my parents generation/relavites like to give gifts…hence our registries : )
Post # 9
Like others have mentioned, I would just create a very small registry. I don’t think you will have to worry about people bringing gifts to Idaho. Most people know that’s it’s best to ship wedding gifts to the couple’s address, and the registry should have a record of your address in NY. I would just register for a few items that will travel well when you move west, and that you would actually use. Maybe towels or sheets, or small kitchen gadgets? Another reason a registry is a good idea is that it indicates to people what places you’d like to get gift cards to. For example, if you register at Crate and Barrel, people will know that you like the store, and know to get to gift cards from there as opposed to some other place. And then you can just keep the gift cards until you move.
And if you are going on a honeymoon, you could also set up a honeymoon registry. I know some people aren’t big fans of these, but I think it’s definitely better than straight up asking people for cash.
Post # 10
I don’t understand why its more tacky to ask for cash than $100+ dinner plates and 10 different types of blenders, but that’s just me! You’re asking for gifts whether you ask for cash or ask for stuff from Macys. I think gift registries are just institutionalized tackiness, haha.
I think if you don’t register anywhere, it will be a good hint. I know someone who registered and forgot to tell people about it, so all she got was money. This might work if you didn’t want to be direct. I’ve also heard that subtle word of mouth is good- maybe have your more trusted close friends and family spread the word in a tasteful way.
Post # 11
i didn’t register for the wedding and when people ask i just tell them that we aren’t register since we don’t really have the room for a bunch of stuff we probably really don’t need right now, so hopefully they get the hint, most of my friends and family already know and for our parents guest, our parents will tell the guest when asked so word will get around
Post # 12
The idea of registering close to home and then returning everything is actually a good idea since gift cards don’t go bad. You can just register for a few things, then if people want to buy you a gift they can. Otherwise, you might get gifts of whatever they want from wherever they want and you might not even know where to return them…trust me, it’s no fun! We registered, but got stuck with a crockpot that we couldn’t figure out where to return…finally after 8 different stores, Target took it, but only gave us like 10 bucks in a gift card…I would have preferred to give it to someone because that was probably less than what we spent on gas driving around.
Another idea could be on your wedding website, just mention there is a money tree at your reception. I know they used to be more popular when I was younger, but it wouldn’t hurt to try that out.
Post # 13
We had registry info on our website and put this paragraph below. Traditional red envelopes means cash in Chinese culture but I guess it sounds less tacky:
Your love and friendship through the years are the best gifts anyone could ask for! But if you’d like to help us build our new home and life together, our preferences are below:
Traditional Red Envelopes
Gift Registry: Crate & Barrel
I hope this helps!
Post # 14
Post # 15
Thanks for all of the feedback! We are going to put out the message to folks that cash/gift cards would work best because of our situation. The money tree concept is great. We looked into setting up an account for guests to donate to. I think I might register for a few small needed things to make it easier for some guests.
Thank you so much!! Great feedback!
Post # 16
you can also do honeyfund.com I did that for my wedding i just wrote something like "Welcome to our honeyfund registry! As some of you know, we are getting ready to buy a new home and need all the help we can get. No toasters needed for this wedding lol. We would love your help in achieving our goal! so that we can start our life in a new home" check it out! 🙂