(Closed) How to ask for cash

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t put it on the invites at all.  If people ask you what they want, just tell them that they would prefer cash.

Post # 4
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve read that its rude to ask for money, but its so hard to say whats “right” and whats “wrong”

No boxed gifts is was way to say money only. (You may get gift cards!) 

Amy

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

If I got an invite asking for cash, I would find it rude and tacky no matter how it was worded.

Leave it off the invite and spread that through word of mouth. Be prepared though, some people do not like giving cash and will refuse to do so (and will probably buy them some sort of non-returnable nick-knacks).

 

Sometimes its good to have at least a small registry at a store where they could use the money they get from returning their wedding gifts.

Post # 6
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s not exactly cheesy, it’s just kind of rude to tell people what to give you as a gift. She can set up a honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com that will prompt people to give her money.

Post # 7
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t put it on the invitations. If they really do not want anything but cash, a sneaky way is to register at a store with a great return policy and just return any gifts you don’t want to keep. (Of course, that runs into the whole problem of people coming over and wanting to see you use the gift, but how often does that actually happen in real life?)

Or depending on the guests and how likely they are to be offended, you could have a family member casually mention it around. 

Post # 8
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

IMO nothing about any type of gift should be on the invitation. The posts above^ had some good ideas.

Post # 9
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly, I think that just by not registering, they’ve indicated that boxed gifts are unnecessary. Most people will give cash in absence of a registry. I think it could look presumptuous to put any kind of gift request or preference on the invitation. 

Post # 10
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Gift suggestions should NEVER EVER be put on the wedding invitations. (Registry, cash, whatever.)

Registry info is spread by word of mouth, website, and shower invitations. Usually, if there is no registry, the implication is that they want cash gifts. (Some people won’t get it.)

Another option is to have them register at a place with a very lenient return policy that will let them return gifts for cash. (I’ve heard Bed, Bath and Beyond is good with returns, but I have no personal experience with it.)

Good luck

Post # 11
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

There is absolutely no way to do it. If you google etiquette sites, I’d say you’d find 100% it is in very bad taste to specify no boxed gifts/ cash only (or God forbid “please be generous” as we saw a few days ago on a big thread here on weddingbee)

That said, if I saw a couple wasn’t registered, I’d give cash. So you can hope for the best. But your daughter also has to accept *any* gifts with grace. 

I hope this isn’t harsh, but I’d rather you know the etiquette instead of running the risk of seriously offending your friends and family. 

 

Post # 12
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Make a “renovating our home” or “make our honeymoon come true” idea as a “registry gift”. There may possibly be a website for something like this. If not, someone should invent it lol.

Post # 13
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Please do not put any kind of wording on the invites about wanting cash. It is crash and very rude.  Word of mouth and if doing a bridal shower maybe on the invites there about no box gifts. 

Post # 14
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Friends of ours that got engaged a few months before us put their wedding website url on their STD’s, and then on the website they had a link to their only registry at Target but also said something along the lines of saving for a down payment on their first home. It in no way offended us. But I would never write it on the actual STD or invite itself. Also spreading through word of mouth is (IMO) acceptable.

Post # 15
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We are just having a small registry either at Williams Sonoma or Macys  of just some of the fancy stuff we would never buy ourselves and praying that people just give us cash. We are not putting anything on the invite about gifts or cash and just hoping our families can clue people in. Something like “well…the kids are registered at Macys but cash or gift cards may be better since they have to fly back home after the wedding”.

That being said, I’ve received three wedding invitations in the mail in the last month or so and all of them had a little registry card in them. I thought it was a little tacky but I didn’t get hysterical over it. Maybe it’s just an Ohio thing…..?

 

Post # 16
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband and I were in a similar situation in that we literally just had NO room for anything bigger then cards.  We addressed the fact of why we had no registry on our wedding website and let people know that we would love cards or anything that could fit in cards if they chose to give a gift.  I didn’t feel comfortable telling people that we’d prefer cash, so I just left it at telling anyone that asked me that we would love to have cards for our wedding album.  After all was said and done, we ended up with 2 gifts and the rest were cards, cash or gift cards.

ETA:  I had a couple people bug me about a registry and tell me I had to create one for everyone.  I felt that doing so would be willfully lying to my guests because I knew that anything I put on a registry would be returned for cash or store credit.  I’d hate to find out someone had done something similar to me, so I refused to create a registry on false pretenses.  

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