How to ask for Honeymoon Contributions as Wedding Presents?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Gabthebee:  There is no polite way to ask for cash.

If you want cash, don’t register. People will figure it out.

Post # 4
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Gabthebee:  A honeymoon registry. There are several, so do your research. Some require a % from the purchaser. We chose Travelers Joy, because the gift-giver contribute what they want for say, a romantic dinner on the beach, island tour, etc… Then, WE pay the %. We did not want to inconvenience our guests by having to contribute even more. That would be horrible.

We said on our website (and ONLY on the website, nothing mentioned on invitations at all), something like:

“…While a wedding registry tends to be a standard for many couples, we want you all to know that your presence alone is the biggest gift we could ever ask for. While pots and pans come and go, it is really the things in life money can’t buy that we will never have enough of: memories and quality time!  

Since many of our loved ones have been so sweetly insistent upon sending us off with a “token of their love”, we have made it possible for those generous folks to do so via our honeymoon registry. There are few things more meaningful to us then our family and friends being a part of our first real adventure as “husband and wife”. In the event that you would like more information, simply click the Traveler’s Joy logo below or to be taken to our official Honeymoon Registry…”

Again, we only listed a few excursions, dinner on the beach, couples massages, etc., as we have already paid for our airfare and suite. So, we wouldn’t be heartbroken if everyone didn’t gift us, not would it impede on our honeymoon plans all that much. I didn’t want to rely on all of our guests to foot the whole bill. And, on the other hand, we don’t need/want cash or traditional gifts. So, we felt this was a good middleground, as many people will get you a gift, even if you ask not them not to. We did make sure to avoid putting anything too expensive, as if we “expected” an expensive gift to start with
Nonetheless, the money the contribute to all of those things simply gets drafted into your bank anyway. So you could technically disburse it how you please. I think by not doing a registry at all (as mentioned above/below), you will end up getting some cash, some people who don’t gift at all and more toasters than you want (because for most adults, one is already one too many). : ) 

Post # 5
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You don’t.

If you don’t make a registry people will figure it out. You’ll get money from most guests anyway.

Post # 6
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honeymoon registry or no registry.  Most people will figure it out!  I  know I always give cash.

Post # 7
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with @julies1949:  and @Hyperventilate:.  There is no polite way to request cash or contributions. 

However, if any of your guests (proactively) asks your family members or close friends what you may want or need, it’s fine for them to respond by saying, “Well, they really have everything they need.  What they’ve been saving toward is a honeymoon,” and leave it at that.

Post # 8
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Just don’t register! Most people will get the hint.

Post # 9
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@smv22114:  Honestly, if I were invited to a wedding and read that on the couple’s website, I would get them a toaster.

I find such over- the- top sugar coated requests for cash to be more irritating than motivating. How is it working for you?

Post # 10
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@julies1949:  this

but if you MUST then I say Honeyfund

Although by not registering people get the point, trust me.

Post # 11
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Gabthebee:  On our invites we had something along the lines of

The greatest gift you can give us is your presence, we have all that we could ever ask for, but if you wish to give us something towards our future together there will be a wishing well at the reception.

If people give us cash we’ll put it towards our honeymoon although we’ve both explicitly told almost everyone we genuinely dont want or need anything

Post # 12
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

I agree there’s no polite way to ask for cash. Just don’t register people would more than likely give cash / a card, and you can probably return gifts you know you wouldn’t use.

Post # 13
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@julies1949:  LOL on the toaster! I totally agree- there is no polite way to ask, and I’m not a fan of honeymoon registries. 

Post # 14
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

As the others have stated when it comes to Weddings any mention of money in any way is thought to be very RUDE (and presumptuous).  The classiest thing you can do is NOT MENTION IT… that alone and people usually take the hint.

Particularly so if you don’t Register anywhere… that is sort of CODE for we need Cash.

Poems may be cute for some…

But the truth is they could cause offense (and why risk it ?)

Play your cards right and you could end up with more money than you’d ever have hoped for (certainly happened to me)

Lol and more cash is the whole idea, non ?

As @julies1949: stated, some people (like the people who have the most cash to give… ie OUR Generation / Your Parents age and older) and they’ll go exactly against your hope if they find your request too forward / pushy.  In which case it is true, you could end up with a lot of toasters… versus the $ 200, $ 300 or more in cash they may have given otherwise.

Something to think about.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 15
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Gabthebee:  There is no polite way to ask for cash. There is no nice way to beg for cash amongst your family and friends.

Don’t register and people will more than likely give you cash. Whatever you do, don’t use one of those ghastly poems or put some insincere, obviously untrue schlock about “your presence is our present.” 

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Re – Wishing Wells / Gift Envelopes etc

@MsChandler: talks about Wishing Wells these are far more common / acceptable in New Zealand & Australia than they are in North America.

As are “Gift Envelopes” in some cultures.

As with all things Etiquette it is very important to KNOW you Audience so you don’t offend anyone.

If you are a North American Bee, you’ll want to stick with a more traditonal view when it comes to Gifts

 

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