(Closed) how to ask for money not gifts (when there’s no other choice)

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Are there any stores that are in both South Korea and the US?  Maybe a family member could return everything for you.  I’ve read of Bees who returned all the shower gifts to a local Bed Bath and Beyond, and repurchased everything in their home store. 

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Have you set up a wedding website? I would put something on the website that explains the situation and set up a free cash wedding registry Something like: “While we appreciate that some guests may want to buy us gifts, due to the fact we live over seas, transporting gifts is not a feasible option. We are registered at http://www.ourwishingwell.com.

Post # 5
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

First, you need to not have registered anywhere.  Having a wedding registry says “Buy me this!”  So if you have one, don’t be surprised if you do receive gifts.  Or conversely, you can tell EVERYONE you’ve registered at BB&B, and then only register for gift cards.  Or simply send the info in the invite and spell it out.  Honestly, when it comes to common sense, etiquette sometimes has to take a back seat.  Anyone who’s offended when you explain why you can only accept cash/checks wouldn’t listen to you about it anyway.  So have a card in your invite explaining that you cannot take any gifts back with you, and that you and your FH are only accepting cash/checks/gift cards.  I had a DW, and our families either shipped the items to our home ahead of time or they gave us cash.  I never heard a peep about it!

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

what about registering for gift cards that you can use where you live?

 

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@tessabella76 – Thanks for sharing that website!  That’s exactly the kind of registry I was looking for!  🙂

Post # 8
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Gift cards are just as portable as cash…those seem like a great option as well and maybe not as touchy to ask for. 

There is always more than one option out there!

Post # 9
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

How about a honeymoon registry?

Post # 11
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Can’t you have a friend or family member return the gifts for you, then send you a check for the cash they get back?  

Post # 12
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Okay: Bed Bath and Beyond allows you to return gifts for CASH. The cold hard kind of CASH. Have it sent to your mom and then return EVERYTHING!!!

Also, the honeyfund is a good way to ask for cash. You get cash from it. But, your guests think they just bought you a champagne toast or a kayaking excursion.

Good luck!

Asking for anything for your wedding is in poor taste. Direct your guests politely and covertly.

🙂

Post # 14
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah, if you’re in Canada the rules here for returning can be much different than in the US. The idea mentioned above about a honeymoon registry is a great idea – just make sure you can access the cash, and that cash gifts can be received from Canada & the US…  I remember picking up a pamphlet for a Canadian version of the honeymoon-registry, but recycled it a long time ago.

It’s unfortunate that your guests don’t understand you can’t ship wedding gifts back to Korea (oh my goodness, how expensive!)… I hope spreading the word works out for you!

Post # 16
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I say go for a honeymoon registry if you can.

The topic ‘how to ask for money not gifts (when there’s no other choice)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors