Post # 1
So, we’re having an international destination wedding where (obviously enough) a lot of guests will be flying there to be with us. We know the effort this requires (spending money on travelling, taking days off from work, etc), and we appreciate it big time that they’re even doing it. This is why we were thinking of somehow telling them not to give us any gifts, since we don’t want them to keep spending money on us, go through the trouble of thinking what to get us (we’ve been living together for a couple of years now and we pretty much have everything we need at this point), etc.
So I need your opinions on this:
1.- How would you feel as a guest if we did this? Would you be relieved? offended? surprised? meh? anything counts..
2.- How should we do it? Personally, just mentioning it every time someone asks about the wedding? or, writing something on the invitations, maybe something along the lines of, “your presence will be the greatest gift for us” (or something less lame ) ? Any other ideas?
Thanks in advance
Post # 2
We wanted the same thing. We just didn’t register and if anyone asked we said that we really did not expect gifts. Some people still gave gifts, mostly money. but the majority respected our wishes.
Post # 3
PrincessPipi: I would say just don’t register, and if people ask, say you’re not expecting a gift as they’ve spent time and money attending. Some people still might give gifts (eg one of my best friends has moved from the UK to Australia and if/when she married her Australian boyfriend it’s likely they’ll get married over there, which will cost me about $3k plus to attend; but I wouldn’t dream of not getting her anything even though I know she wouldn’t expect it), but I imagine if they do it would either be cash, or something small like a nice bottle of wine/champagne.
Post # 4
Definitely don’t register and write “please, no gifts. The pleasure of your company is gift enough” in your invitations.
Post # 5
I’ve seen cute poems requesting presence not presents<br />
Post # 6
If these folks are close enough to you to travel internationally for your weddimg, they’re close enough for you to drop them a quick, personal email or give them a call. Just say “Teddy, I know it’s costing you a lot of money and time to join us, so please don’t even dream of giving us a gift, you’re already being incredibly generous to just be here and we love you for that!!”
Post # 7
CaptainTaco: My fiance and I have been discussing the idea of asking that gifts not be given as well.
The problem is, we come from big Midwestern families where this would be rather unheard of and probably tsk-tsk’d. By the time we get married, we will have been living together for a few years, and already have all the things we need.
In that light, we are each picking a charity and asking people to make a donation to one or the other in lieu of gifts. We as a couple will also give a gift to each charity from our wedding budget in lieu of wedding favors (who needs another trinket??). If people do insist on giving gifts, smie and thank them whole-heartedly. It was obviously a gesture of love.
Post # 8
We put a note on our website. It says:
“The best wedding gift we could ask for is your presence. More than anything we want to celebrate this day with family and friends, and we realize for many of you just getting to [location] is quite a trip. No need to bring anything but yourself! Love, X & Y”
Post # 9
rhle: that’s a great idea!! I might just have to do something similar, thanks for the inspiration!!