How to ask guests to ship gifts from registry…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

courtney.guman:  I moved to where my husband lives after we got married. While it was very nice of the people who mailed our gifts directly, many didn’t and I think it would have been rude of me to insist that they do. So I kept my mouth shut and ended up returning 70% of my gifts to the store to get a gift card so that I can just re-buy the stuff once I get settled in because there was no way we could take all that stuff via our road trip. 

Post # 3
42135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

courtney.guman:  It is not good form to make mention of gifts at all. Just return the gifts and purchase them in your new town .

Post # 5
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are doing something similar (wedding in CA, but we live in TN) and I would avoid mentioning gifts on your information sheet – we directed people to our wedding website for accomodation information and included our registries on there, along with a little blurb that said “For those of you feeling inspired to gift, thank you in advance! Since our wedding location and where we live are so far away from each other, we respectfully ask that you would consider purchasing your gifts online and having them shipped directly to our home. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” It helps, I think, that the majority of our gifts are via our Amazon registry. We also registered at Pottery Barn and when we filled out our registry info there they had a section for “additional instructions” where we basically said the same thing.

Post # 6
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I just returned the gifts that I received at my wedding in New Orleans and repurchased them when I got back to NYC.  

Post # 7
6685 posts
Bee Keeper

Most people will probably let the store send to you directly, but for those who bring a physical gift, either you or someone in your family can just return it.  It is improper to have anything related to gifts included in an invitation.

Etiquette grudgingly  allows the mention of a registry on a wedding website, but as a link only, nothing that directs guests in any way. I’d remove that part from your website as it comes across as presumptuous. 

The old fashioned, time honored way to spread the info acceptably is by having those close to you share it when someone specifically asks them about your registry. 

Post # 8
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

courtney.guman:  I’m in the same situation. Mr. S has a crazy schedule so I don’t trust shipping gifts to his address where we will be living after the wedding (halfway across the country for me) so honestly, we are planning to rent a u-haul trailer that we will haul on the roadtrip along with the rest of my stuff and any gifts we get.  We have the shipping address for after the wedding set to his address in the other state. 

Post # 10
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would spread it through word of mouth. You can also ship a big box of gifts through a cheap method, like Greyhound.

Post # 11
11614 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You don’t mention gifts.  FWIW, very few people brought physical gifts to our wedding.  They either brought checks, or gifts were shipped prior through the store registry. 

Post # 12
4762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We put notes on our wedding website and registry sites asking them to ship to our new home (across the country from the wedding). We ended up with a few things, but just returned them and bought them again where we live.

Post # 14
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

When you register, you put in where to have gifts ship. On your information sheets, direct people to your wedding website.  On there, you can have a page with where you are registered.  Other bees might disagree because it’s instructing guests what to do about gifts, but I think it’s appropriate on the registry page of your website to say something like, “This couple doesn’t want to spend another minute apart, so the bride will be moving across the country after the wedding! If you choose to use our online registry, please ship your gift to the address provided.”

You should also useword of mouth to let people know what your after-wedding plans are so they’ll figure out they should ship the gifts.  With most people buying online these days, I think the majority of guests will ship their gifts to you.

Post # 15
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

courtney.guman:  It’s not polite to mention gifts in the invite at all (ettiquette wise). On your wedding website, and word of mouth for those who inquire with you, your parents or FI’s is plenty. I think it would come across as an expectation of gifts/ungrateful and slightly overkill to do more than those things. 

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