Post # 1
Hi guys, this is my first post on here! I need some etiquette help with gifts off our my registry. My fiance and I are moving to a new city after the wedding. He is already out there, but we will be moving my stuff in my small SUV and taking a road trip across the country to move me. On a separate 8×11 sheet of paper with the invitations, we are including more information so guests can book hotel rooms and reserve rental cars, etc. Is it ok that I ask guests to ship all gifts to our new address, instead of bringing them to the wedding? That would be so much easier for us. I don’t want to sound ungrateful… here is the wording I will put: “The bride and groom are registered at Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma. We kindly ask that all gifts be shipped to the address provided at Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma.” Is this tacky or appropriate? This info is also included on our wedding website! Thanks.
Post # 2
courtney.guman: I moved to where my husband lives after we got married. While it was very nice of the people who mailed our gifts directly, many didn’t and I think it would have been rude of me to insist that they do. So I kept my mouth shut and ended up returning 70% of my gifts to the store to get a gift card so that I can just re-buy the stuff once I get settled in because there was no way we could take all that stuff via our road trip.
Post # 3
courtney.guman: It is not good form to make mention of gifts at all. Just return the gifts and purchase them in your new town .
Post # 4
I’m not sure how much time we will have to go to stores and return things after the wedding… this is so tricky.
Post # 5
We are doing something similar (wedding in CA, but we live in TN) and I would avoid mentioning gifts on your information sheet – we directed people to our wedding website for accomodation information and included our registries on there, along with a little blurb that said “For those of you feeling inspired to gift, thank you in advance! Since our wedding location and where we live are so far away from each other, we respectfully ask that you would consider purchasing your gifts online and having them shipped directly to our home. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” It helps, I think, that the majority of our gifts are via our Amazon registry. We also registered at Pottery Barn and when we filled out our registry info there they had a section for “additional instructions” where we basically said the same thing.
Post # 6
I just returned the gifts that I received at my wedding in New Orleans and repurchased them when I got back to NYC.
Post # 7
Most people will probably let the store send to you directly, but for those who bring a physical gift, either you or someone in your family can just return it. It is improper to have anything related to gifts included in an invitation.
Etiquette grudgingly allows the mention of a registry on a wedding website, but as a link only, nothing that directs guests in any way. I’d remove that part from your website as it comes across as presumptuous.
The old fashioned, time honored way to spread the info acceptably is by having those close to you share it when someone specifically asks them about your registry.
Post # 8
courtney.guman: I’m in the same situation. Mr. S has a crazy schedule so I don’t trust shipping gifts to his address where we will be living after the wedding (halfway across the country for me) so honestly, we are planning to rent a u-haul trailer that we will haul on the roadtrip along with the rest of my stuff and any gifts we get. We have the shipping address for after the wedding set to his address in the other state.
Post # 9
The hard part is, we have to move all of my stuff in only my car. I would love to get a u-haul!
Post # 10
I would spread it through word of mouth. You can also ship a big box of gifts through a cheap method, like Greyhound.
Post # 11
You don’t mention gifts. FWIW, very few people brought physical gifts to our wedding. They either brought checks, or gifts were shipped prior through the store registry.
Post # 12
We put notes on our wedding website and registry sites asking them to ship to our new home (across the country from the wedding). We ended up with a few things, but just returned them and bought them again where we live.
Post # 13
Thank you guys so much! I feel better about how to handle this.
Post # 14
When you register, you put in where to have gifts ship. On your information sheets, direct people to your wedding website. On there, you can have a page with where you are registered. Other bees might disagree because it’s instructing guests what to do about gifts, but I think it’s appropriate on the registry page of your website to say something like, “This couple doesn’t want to spend another minute apart, so the bride will be moving across the country after the wedding! If you choose to use our online registry, please ship your gift to the address provided.”
You should also useword of mouth to let people know what your after-wedding plans are so they’ll figure out they should ship the gifts. With most people buying online these days, I think the majority of guests will ship their gifts to you.
Post # 15
courtney.guman: It’s not polite to mention gifts in the invite at all (ettiquette wise). On your wedding website, and word of mouth for those who inquire with you, your parents or FI’s is plenty. I think it would come across as an expectation of gifts/ungrateful and slightly overkill to do more than those things.