Post # 1
A little info (if youve read about me in the past you may be able to skip this part)
Husband and I were married at a City Hall w/ our parents and siblings present. Fastforward 1 year- My husband attents mass with me and now is making my dream of getting married at the church I was raised going to (even though it will be more like a vow renewal) come true.
SO NOW .. at first we were going to rent a hall to hold our reception for 200 people. We now realize its a bit out of the question and are having a backyard BBQ w nice tables and centerpieces a cake and after the food we will be clearing some tables to make room for DJ and dancefloor.
Now.. I have a total of 70 people in my family who we see VERY OFTEN.
his guest list consist of about 50 people we see often and 30 to 40 people ive
1. never met
2. dont really talk to (like his sister’s family, they have diff dads, so at one point his step family) although we see them from time to time.
How do I bring up that he shouldnt really invite these people ( the people mentioned in 1 and 2), OR am I being too selfish since im inviting my entire family yet want him to limit his invites & I should just suck it up and deal with the invites.
This is also not such a BIG backyard.
Post # 3
I think you should try to play fair… If you get to invite 70 people, he should get to invite 70 people too. If you don’t have room for 140 people, could you both trim your lists a bit? Just my opinion.
Post # 4
I think you should invite them. Your hubby put them on the list because he wants them there. The logistics of if you’ve met them or not are irrelevant – but I TOTALLY understand why you think they shouldn’t be on the list!
Does your hubby know you are concerned about space issues and that only the significant people in your life should be there?
If so, then let him invite who he wishes and enjoy meeting the new people and reconnecting with those you don’t see often.
Just a side note – FI and I will be together for almost 5 years and other than his work friend invites – most of his guest list are either people I’ve never met – or people we don’t see much at all anymore. He’s really embraced my circle of friends – yet these other people were super significant to him at one season or another – so it didn’t even dawn on me to tell him not to invite them (solely based on the relationship they had with us or me).
Post # 5
I agree with Eva and Oracle – while space issues are legit and should be addressed, you can’t tell him not to invite people just because you’ve never met them. There will be TONS of people at my wedding that I’ve never met on his side and vice versa – that’s part of the fun (bringing your people together)!!
Post # 6
I think you should invite them as well, especially his sisters family if he still considers them family. They must be important to him if he added them to his list. There were plenty of people I never met that were on my DH’s side of the invite list but I couldnt tell him not to invite them because I didnt know them. If its a space issue, both of you may need to cut your lists.
Post # 7
I agree with the others. Because 75 percent of our guests are from out of town, most of them are going to be unknown to one of us. Like ladyox said, it’s part of the fun!
Post # 8
Yeah my insticts told me the same thing as all of you ladies, theres just the double checking of em thanks to the weddingbee. The last thing I would have wanted to do is hurt his feelings!
Thank you ladies!
Post # 9
I know that you’ve already made your decision, but FI and I had a similar problem.
My family is HUGE and very close, while FI’s family is not so huge and not as close as mine. My side of the guest list added up very quickly, whereas FI was searching for people to make his list “even” with mine, adding randoms to the list.
I didn’t have any friends on the list, because my family is so large, yet he wanted to invite friends that he rarely sees/hardly knows? That didn’t seem fair to me.
Eventually, we had a discussion and decided that we wanted people there who truly mattered to us. He completely understood my point of view and ended up cutting some people off of his list, while I added some on mine. Every person that is coming knows (and is close to) both of us.
Post # 10
I actually brought it up.. not in a asking him to do it. I just asked him if his guest list was going to stay the same now that we are only having a backyard bbq with cake and a dj and some nice little centerpieces & he said he was going to trim down his guestlist a lot. So I didnt even have to ask him, Even though I wasnt going to afterall. I am going to make sure if he trims people down its not people that he really wants there because then that wouldnt be fair. If he trims down his Im going to trim down mine.