(Closed) How to ask if their footing some of the bill???

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would start talking about the wedding planning process.  Say you’re compiling a guest list and a budget.  Do not overtly ask for money.  They will give you whatever they think is appropriate, and will offer it up if they choose to give you anthing at all.

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like if they haven’t offered yet, they might not. Are FI’s siblings brothers or sisters? They might have the expectation that the brides family pays.

Post # 6
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would not ask.  It doesn’t sound like they are in a position to help, and I’d just avoid it all togehter.  If they chip in at the end, maybe consider it a gift since you’ll already have planned the wedding with your own funds.  If you cannot afford all of their guests on their list, then you can ask them to cut some.

 

I would not ask anyone else.  If poeple want to chip in they will do it sooner or later, but just plan as if no one does chip in.

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unless you have signed contracts and sent save the dates, nothing is set in stone.  You can still plan the wedding you and your FI can afford if parents do not contribute.  You can also tell them “Sorry, we can only invite grandparents, aunts and uncles” and take off extras from the list.  If they are not contributing, they get less of a say in the guest list.

Post # 8
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Given your situation I would not ask. My ILs kept offering to pay for stuff, but only actually paid for 1 thing. We just never brough it up with the other stuff. As for my parents, it is known that my dad had a wedding fund for both my sister and I. So right after I got engaged I just said to my dad “so dad, how much is in my wedding fund? :D” and then we started planning from there.

Post # 9
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Plan the wedding that you can afford to pay for.  If they wanted to contribute, they would have brought it up.

They may still bring it up.  And then at that point the money is just extra gravy.

 

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