How to ask my husband about missing condom?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@marriedbeegoinganon:  Well, I guess if you know no one else was there… does it matter what he used it for? I mean, I just learned of this new youtube sensation called the Condom Challenge (Kids snort condoms… ridiculous). Who knows what he did. If you can see no one came in and feel he did not go out to meet anyone whats the difference?

Post # 4
8653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

My immediate first thought is that if he was comfortable in bed and didn’t want to make a “mess” on the sheets or comforter, or wherever he was watching the videos, using a condom makes sense!

Post # 5
3777 posts
Honey bee

He had a posh wank probably. Like used it on him self… less to clean up. If you are sure he was alone don’t stress about it. xxx

Post # 6
1287 posts
Bumble bee

some guys use them to masturbate to make it last longer if they are watching  porn and less clean up – and depending on where he was watching the porn.   Might sound stupid, but maybe he didn’t want to “get it on the computer” if he was using a laptop.

Guys are strange and do strange things. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions if you don’t suspect cheating.  Just be open and ask him about it.  

Post # 8
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@marriedbeegoinganon:  If the wrapper was in the coke can then he didn’t go anywhere to use it. He prob just used it while masturbating. Doesn’t sound suspicious to me. 

Post # 9
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

he probably just used it on himself. but if he didn’t use it with someone else, I’m with PP and don’t think it matters. Hopefully he didn’t try snorting it but not gonna lie, one time I filled a condom up with water in the bathtub to see how full it would get. word of warning, don’t try to pick up a huge water filled condom because it will burst and then you’ll have to mop it up off the floor and when your SO walks in and asks what in the hell happened, you’ll have to sheepishly explain that you were playing with water balloon condoms like a 14 year old.

Post # 10
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with the other posters.

Post # 11
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@jny1179:  +1

I agree with PPs, less to clean up!

Post # 12
3777 posts
Honey bee

@marriedbeegoinganon:  I think, you are probably right. They were going to go to “waste” otherwise so he probably didn’t see the harm in using one up and probably thought you wouldn’t even know / care. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Like PP’s have said, men are strange, he probably just wanted to treat himself to something special 😉 x

Post # 13
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@marriedbeegoinganon:  If it is going to eat away at you, then I would just ask him. You married the man, so you should be able to ask him a question. I’d rather get to the bottom of it than wonder about it for the next 10 years. If he told you that he cleaned all afternoon and nothing was clean, that seems a bit suspicious to me…unless he usually spends 5 hours a day masturbating with one condom. You felt suspcious enough about it to make this account and ask us for opinions, so that leads me to believe there must be something to your gut reaction. I’d ask and see how he reacts.

Post # 14
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper

No don’t ask him. Masturbation is a private thing. Would you like it if he questioned your masturbation habits?

Post # 15
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Um sorry but I don’t get why no one is saying not to ask him about it!  Is there ANY possibility someone could have entered the house through a back door without being seen by the camera?  If not, great.  I still don’t see the big deal in asking him.  


I think you have every right to know why a condom has been used – why put it in the coke can? Sounds like he was hiding it…


If he used it on himself, all he needs to say is oh I just used it for easy cleanup. End of story.  My DH (and most men I know) hate condoms, so I can’t imagine they’d use it on themselves out of pure laziness.

Listen to your gut. I couldn’t not ask. It’s better to have peace of mind then be wondering about it forever.

Post # 16
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@marriedbeegoinganon:  Do you have a camera for the backdoor? Does your front camera see all the way to both sides of the yard lines? If you’re 100% certain that no one else could have been there then just let it go obviously he used it for something himself and may be embarassed about it so he tried to hide the evidence in a pop can. He most likely just wanted easy clean up for his play time.

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