Post # 1
Regular bee going anon.
My husband and I have married a while. We quit using condoms a couple of months ago but he still has some in his drawer.
A few days ago, I was putting his sleep meds in his drawer and noticed we still had some left and made a mental note of how many were left so we could use them up. Not that I think we’ll ever use them again though.
Last night I went to get his sleep meds and noticed that 1 was missing. And I’m pretty sure it went missing yesterday.
I was scheduled to work to cover a 12 hour shift yesterday. My husband has had it rough at work lately and decided as I was leaving out the door to call in sick. He called me before I was heading home and said he had been cleaning all afternoon. I came home to dishes in the sink and nothing else was clean.
Last night, I jokingly asked him if he “played” and he responded that he watched some internet porn. I assumed that was why the house was a mess.
This morning I looked in the trash cans and found the condom wrapper in a crumbled coke can. This is TMI but we have sex toys in that drawer and one is a set of anal beads that he likes for me to use on him. The last time we used them, we cleaned them and put them back in the box. When I was in the drawer the other day, I also noticed they were laying out in the drawer not in the box. So I know he’s been using them for himself which is fine.
I’m pretty sure he didn’t go anywhere yesterday except when his mom picked him up for lunch. I know this because we have a camera on the front of the house and I looked at the footage. It doesn’t appear that he went anywhere once he came home. There definitely wasn’t anybody else stopping by.
So I’m confused, was he using a condom for himself? He’s never done that in the past.
Do I say something to him? And what? Hey honey, I noticed a condom missing, do you know anything about that?
I do want to say that we are honest with each other about our “personal” time because it does not interfere with our sex life. We have sex regularly and we spend most of our time together. I guess I’ve never heard of a guy using a condom to masturbate, at least not at home.
Post # 3
@marriedbeegoinganon: Well, I guess if you know no one else was there… does it matter what he used it for? I mean, I just learned of this new youtube sensation called the Condom Challenge (Kids snort condoms… ridiculous). Who knows what he did. If you can see no one came in and feel he did not go out to meet anyone whats the difference?
Post # 4
My immediate first thought is that if he was comfortable in bed and didn’t want to make a “mess” on the sheets or comforter, or wherever he was watching the videos, using a condom makes sense!
Post # 5
He had a posh wank probably. Like used it on him self… less to clean up. If you are sure he was alone don’t stress about it. xxx
Post # 6
some guys use them to masturbate to make it last longer if they are watching porn and less clean up – and depending on where he was watching the porn. Might sound stupid, but maybe he didn’t want to “get it on the computer” if he was using a laptop.
Guys are strange and do strange things. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions if you don’t suspect cheating. Just be open and ask him about it.
Post # 7
@JessSeny: I’m not 100% sure he didn’t leave. His car was here the whole time but our survelliance footage isn’t the best and you can’t fast forward. It’s about 6 hours worth of footage and I skimmed through it. He does have a bike that he recently started using again.
@MsBeer: That’s what I originally thought too. He’s never used one for that but maybe he did because he knows we won’t use them again. Should I mention it to him?
Post # 8
@marriedbeegoinganon: If the wrapper was in the coke can then he didn’t go anywhere to use it. He prob just used it while masturbating. Doesn’t sound suspicious to me.
Post # 9
he probably just used it on himself. but if he didn’t use it with someone else, I’m with PP and don’t think it matters. Hopefully he didn’t try snorting it but not gonna lie, one time I filled a condom up with water in the bathtub to see how full it would get. word of warning, don’t try to pick up a huge water filled condom because it will burst and then you’ll have to mop it up off the floor and when your SO walks in and asks what in the hell happened, you’ll have to sheepishly explain that you were playing with water balloon condoms like a 14 year old.
Post # 10
I agree with the other posters.
Post # 11
I agree with PPs, less to clean up!
Post # 12
@marriedbeegoinganon: I think, you are probably right. They were going to go to “waste” otherwise so he probably didn’t see the harm in using one up and probably thought you wouldn’t even know / care. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Like PP’s have said, men are strange, he probably just wanted to treat himself to something special 😉 x
Post # 13
@marriedbeegoinganon: If it is going to eat away at you, then I would just ask him. You married the man, so you should be able to ask him a question. I’d rather get to the bottom of it than wonder about it for the next 10 years. If he told you that he cleaned all afternoon and nothing was clean, that seems a bit suspicious to me…unless he usually spends 5 hours a day masturbating with one condom. You felt suspcious enough about it to make this account and ask us for opinions, so that leads me to believe there must be something to your gut reaction. I’d ask and see how he reacts.
Post # 14
No don’t ask him. Masturbation is a private thing. Would you like it if he questioned your masturbation habits?
Post # 15
Um sorry but I don’t get why no one is saying not to ask him about it! Is there ANY possibility someone could have entered the house through a back door without being seen by the camera? If not, great. I still don’t see the big deal in asking him.
I think you have every right to know why a condom has been used – why put it in the coke can? Sounds like he was hiding it…
If he used it on himself, all he needs to say is oh I just used it for easy cleanup. End of story. My DH (and most men I know) hate condoms, so I can’t imagine they’d use it on themselves out of pure laziness.
Listen to your gut. I couldn’t not ask. It’s better to have peace of mind then be wondering about it forever.
Post # 16
@marriedbeegoinganon: Do you have a camera for the backdoor? Does your front camera see all the way to both sides of the yard lines? If you’re 100% certain that no one else could have been there then just let it go obviously he used it for something himself and may be embarassed about it so he tried to hide the evidence in a pop can. He most likely just wanted easy clean up for his play time.