Post # 1
I could use some etiquette help.
I’m having dinner tomorrow night with a friend who I would like to ask to be my BM (I would only be having two girls: my sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and this friend would be my BM).
Backstory: We’ve known each other all our lives: our parents have been friends since high school, and we were born 2 weeks apart.
We grew up in different cities, but saw each other ~4x/year for a week or two on family vacations, went to summer camp together, etc. Now we live only about 45 minutes apart in the summer months… we stay in touch over FB and see each other about once a month; and she & her longtime Boyfriend or Best Friend visit us once every winter.
She’s really closer to family than friends, and we refer to each other as cousins.
Question: How do I ask her? Card? Conversation? Alone together?
Post # 3
Dinner to catch up and get her hyped up with wedding planning and than pull out the old handmade card with a bridesmaid dress(made of real fabric) on it. A ton of brides have done that on here but how many BMs have actually been asked that way? I know I haven’t. I am also known for cheesy poems that rhyme so I made a little poem about our relationship, short but sweet, to go inside. It was a hit!
No matter what you do it doesn’t have to be big and flashy and involve lots of money. Speak from the heart and they will know you truly want them there. How can they say no to that?
I also want to note that I asked a friend to go dress shopping with me. I proposed with a Ring Pop in front of Macy’s on State before we went in to dry on BMs dresses. 🙂 It fit her personality more for her to have a little pizazz.
Post # 4
Whatever feels right in the moment love! Don’t worry about making it a big thing.
My one and only bridesmaid works nights so after I got engaged it was going to be a couple of weeks before I’d be able to see her in person and ask. So I just sent a text message (with misspellings even!)
If hse loves you (and I have no doubt that she does), the way that you ask isn’t going to matter in the least, she’ll just be happy to be included.
Plus she probably knows it’s coming
Post # 5
I don’t know how much she’s hyped for wedding planning: she & her Boyfriend or Best Friend have been together for the beter part of a decade, own a house, etc. I don’t think they are exactly pro-wedding: although she seems really happy for us (complimented my e-ring when we got engaged this spring, complimented our Save The Date cards over FB last week).
I’m glad you suggest a card. I’m leaning towards that myself; I want it to be special. And the fabric-idea is mint!
Post # 6
When I asked my BMs, I got together with each of them in person individually, and then gave them a frame, in which I’d placed a 4×6 note that I typed up telling them what they mean to me and asking them to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 7
@Lexy: thanks Lexy. That is so reassuring. I’m surprised at how nervous I am about asking.
I’m not sure if she knows it’s coming – we’re not together all the time; but we have such a long history together, and always pick up right where we’ve left off.
Post # 8
Get a little cookie made asking her and present it to her for dessert.
Post # 9
@Soladylike: I would totally make he cookie myself too; but I’m already making dessert for us: Guiness chocolate cake :/
Post # 10
I just asked mine via email and over the phone. 🙂 They knew they would be BM’s anyway. 🙂