(Closed) How to avoid coming to blows with your mom

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d like to know too.

Post # 4
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I love my mother dearly! but we have had some issues…especially with wedding planning and although the major drrrraaama seems to be over (I hope! for now!) I would love to hear some “tips”

Post # 5
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Let them think they are right then do what you want!

Post # 6
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Xanax.

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

VintageDivine beat me to it. Get thee to a pharmacy.

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I love my mom, of course I do…but the woman drives me batty. When I was first engaged, my friends joked about my mother being involved and driving me nuts. I told them to not allow her near me. Okay…so it was a bit strong, and I’ve since recanted. However, I did find a way of getting around it. I gave mom stuff to do. You see, if she’s busy making sure the table linnens are straight and the chairs are exactly whatever inches apart, she can’t have extra time to drive me nuts. She’s happy because she’s involved in the wedding. I’m happy because she’s not adding stress to the day. In fact, she’s kind of actually decreasing it because I know she will make sure her details are perfect and those are things I will not have to worry about.

Post # 9
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What kind of things did you give your mom to do?  I too am struggling with my mom.  We used to get along, but ever since the engagement there have been issues.  I want her involved because I feel like that’s a HUGE reason she so pissed all the time.  But I also want my wedding to be my own.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@ Bride109  I tried that.  Everything I’d suggest she’d do she’d say “Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, you should do __(complete opposite)___.” 

Post # 11
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Act like your listening but just tune out! I know thats mean but sometimes its all that I can do to stay sane!

I feel like all my mom does is complain about every. little. thig. in her life (especially her OWN mother whos shes JUST alike!)

So what do I do???? I bitch to my FI about my mom comlaining about her mom. And then I freak out and ask him if I’m like my mother. And then I swear up and down I will never like my her….and on and on.

So I just tune her out. It saves us all!!!

Post # 12
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Alcohol. 

Not even kidding. 

Post # 13
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

@lilyfaith – Exactly what I was going to say.

Post # 14
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

On the day of the wedding, you can at least have your BMs run recon and keep her away from you, or chat her up, etc. Or, send her on menial fetch tasks all day (I REALLY need that nail polish in THIS color from THIS STORE halfway across town!)

A list of things to say to not sound rude but also not make things blow up. Try to keep your conversations with her full of netural language!

“That’s very interesting.”

“I’ll take that into consideration.”

“That’s a possibility.”

Also, there’s nothing wrong with telling your mom (or anybody else for that matter!) that you simply need time alone, time to relax, time to think, time to prepare, etc. Not rude, just the truth!

 

 

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