Post # 1
I’ve read a lot that it’s advisable to not explicitly say it’s a wedding until you are given price quotes from vendors – not to outright lie but not to divulge that information too soon or else they will double the price compared to if you hd said it was for, for example, an anniversary party.
We’ve been e-mailing potential venues and they’ve not been very keen to tell me any prices without basically trying to get me to volunteer more information (i.e. yes, it’s a wedding, charge me extra). This is one reply I got:
What sort of event are you wanting to hold? I need details before I could give you answer s. Is it a private party ,if so for what occasion? How many people? What time of day?What age would the visitors be?
Look forward to hearing from you”
How would you handle the questions above? Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid saying it’s a wedding too soon? Or, maybe that isn’t even necessary and I’m just misinformed. In your experience, have vendors increased prices when they heard the word “wedding”?
ETA: I am primarily referring to venues, so I am most interested to hear about venues. Specifically, I am looking to hire a field for a marquee and camping. So it will always be the same field – no food, no package, na-da. Maybe vendors was the wrong term to use, sorry if that’s the case, not clued-up on my lingo. I haven’t dealt with any other businesses, though I anticipate similar frustrations much further down the planning line.
Post # 3
I would honestly just be up front. If you don’t say it’s a wedding, and then later on you say it is, there will still be an increase in the price, plus you’ll also have to deal with annoyed vendors. There is almost always an additional cost for weddings; it’s just the nature of the beast.
Post # 4
I don’t know about the UK, but in Canada iv never seen it ( work in catering). Just ask for their catering package, most have prices
Post # 5
I’d be honest. It’s usually not very good to start off a business relationship by lying. Your vendors will find out that it’s a wedding and they’ll be pissed that you jerked them around. If you feel they quote you a high price because it’s a wedding, try to negotiate a lower price.
Post # 6
Family reunion. Im not really sure why they would want to know unless they are wanting to recommend vendors.
Post # 7
They might charge more because they might do different things for weddings – maybe a florist would use more expensive flowers or have to get certain colors that you want for your flowers – maybe a caterer would add more things like hand-passed hors d’oerves or butlers or something – a venue might have a different package for a wedding because it would be 5 hours vs another type of party that might only be 3 hours.
I don’t necessarily know if vendors automatically increase the cost of a wedding because you say wedding. If you want to see if they’re doing that, why don’t you email the same vendor from two different email accounts – say that one is a wedding another is a family reunion or a birthday party – and see if they quote two different prices.
If you want to avoid answering it as a wedding, just don’t say what event it is and answer the rest of the questions. “Yes, it’s a private party and we anticipate having x amount of people for x amount of hours starting at x time. We anticipate all ages – blah blah we have x amount of kids ages 5-10 and x amount of young adults to 21 and then several people who are over the age of 65” – or something like that and then let them ask you again – if they insist, I wouldn’t lie (unless you’re making a fake email to get info like I suggested if you think they’re bumping up the price because it’s a wedding).
Post # 8
I refused to do business with vendors who responded like that. A few times I responded with “why? does it change the price?” Each time I was told “yes” their prices were more for weddings. I just moved down my list of potential vendors.
I understand why photographers charge more for weddings. I do not understand why florists charge more (a centerpiece is a centerpiece) or why caterers charge more (food and service is food and service).
If you love a particular vendor, then deal with the mark-up. (Though to be honest, I negotiated with every single one of my vendors and received a significant discount from each one. But that was because I was willing to go elsewhere if their prices were non-negotiable.)
Post # 9
The venue we went with has the exact same pricing, except that we’re paying a $300 “ceremony fee” for use of the ceremony space and chairs. I suppose if you were really curious you could say you’re exploring spaces for both a wedding and a… family renunion (that was good @WillyNilly!) and see if there are huge differences.
Ultimately though, @abbie017 is right. If they find out that your “Uncle Steve’s 50th Birthday Party Bash” is really a “big family and friend party with a chick in a white dress and a bridal party and a big cake” they may figure you out and charge more. Which would suck.
Wishing you lots of luck!
Post # 10
I agree with others to not lie. BUT, I would maybe have your fiance or another friend email them for another quote for an anniversary party/family reunion/retirement party for the same amount of people and get a quote. Then if the wedding quote is more, you can use that to negotiate. “I was under the impression that catering services for x event is x price, can you please explain to me why I was quoted more?” And then depending on their response, negotiate down.
Post # 11
@abbie017: Yeah I know places charge extra usually but my point is why should there be an additional cost for weddings? I’m talking about venues here – if I am hiring the same venue for the same amount of time, I don’t see how the nature of the hiring is important to ask, other than for them to take the opportunity to pluck a price out of thin air. I wish vendors were just honest about their prices – then it would be a fair, two-way street. Sigh.
Post # 12
@VickyAurea: You’re so right. Same food + same amount of service staff = 300% more just because you use the word “wedding.” Not cool.
@MrsLulu: You had a great way of going about avoiding hiring this type of venue.
Post # 13
ETA (added this at the top too): I am primarily referring to venues, so I am most interested to hear about venues. Specifically, I am looking to hire a field for a marquee and camping. So it will always be the same field – no food, no package, na-da. Maybe vendors was the wrong term to use, sorry if that’s the case, not clued-up on my lingo. I haven’t dealt with any other businesses, though I anticipate similar frustrations much further down the planning line.
Post # 14
Some make the argument that clients are more demanding and more exacting in their wishes for weddings than for other kinds of parties. I don’t know how much of that is true and how much of that is a byproduct of “bridezilla” culture.
You could get your FI involved in this: have him use his email/number to price venues for a family party and you find out what they charge for a wedding, and then the two of you can make decisions about which vendors you think are behaving fairly and which ones you want to approach with an eye to negotiation.
Post # 16
@KCKnd2: Yeah, it’s just that we are asking for something so specific – hire of the field for 2 nights, camping, marquee space, summer, it would sound too similar if we both e-mailed – because I think they don’t get lots of requests like this. Some of these places don’t do private hire too often – they are just places with fields going spare.