Post # 1
My fiance and I have been together over 6 years and are getting married. I grew up at a Catholic school and so we were going to look into getting married at a catholic church. We met with the priest, and basically the entire meeting was berating us for living together before marriage, constantly persuading us to take a vow of celebacy, and then he compared to, if i took communion while “living in sin” that it would be like, and I quote, “raping” the church. And said it would be like my fiance forcing himself on me because he thinks he deserves it. I mean, before anyone says “well you went to a catholic church” many of my other friends got married at the same church and lived together beforehand and never got the treatment I got. They were appauled. Anyways, needless to say we won’t be going with this church or minister…but I hate confrontation. How do I politely tell them that we’ve decided on another church? Email? Phone call?
Post # 2
ariel44: did you commit/book anything yet? do you have to cancel or can you just not follow up?
You could just say on the phone “this isn’t going to work out but thank you for your time”. Or via email: hi jerkface! (Sub for name) thanks so much for your time but we’ve decided on another church . Best, bride”
Post # 3
I would send an email thanking him for his time and saying you have decided to keep looking. I doubt I would read his response email if he sent one. No man has the right to judge you like that. I mean…if he really feels that living together before marriage is a sin, so be it. But it looks like he would be glad you’re getting married. And comparisons to rape are never OK. How dare he…
Post # 4
I actually had to cancel on my church (we had tentatively booked the church in my hometown where I received 1st Communion, for convenience sake, but ultimately decided to get married at the church my family actually attends a couple towns away) and simply called the church and told them that due to a change in plans we decided to switch locations.
That said, I would be very upset by the way that priest treated you, and would perhaps consider speaking with the head priest (I think they have an official name, I just can’t think of it right now lol) at that particular church, or even contacting someone within the Diocese to report his rudeness.