Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. For about the last year I have been getting really anxious to get engaged as some of our friends have gotten married and many have recently gotten engaged. My boyfriend says a proposal will come soon but he keeps pushing it back due to money/school reasons (we are graduating from college this coming spring). I try so hard not to nag but sometimes I can’t help it. Usually he is patient but sometimes he gets really frustrated and I feel so guilty for pushing him so hard. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to get engaged yet. I don’t want an expensive ring at all.
Really, I think I would be ok at this point waiting, but one of my best friends has recently gotten a boyfriend, and only 7 months later he has already bought a ring and will propose literally any day. They have set a date and reserved a venue already. I’m so excited for my friend and I’m psyched to help her plan and be a bridesmaid, but at the same time it’s killing me inside. She doesn’t deserve this, and I do! (I sound so mean…)
Anyways, my boyfriend and I just talked today and it sounds like he won’t propose for 6 more months or even longer. I’m trying to be cool about it but it’s so hard. For awhile he was planning to propose around Christmas but now he won’t have any money to buy a ring. But, it looks like I’ll have to wait so I might as well make the most of it. Any tips for how to just relax and enjoy being together? (FYI we do not live together, and we are waiting for marriage. That just makes it all the more difficult to wait)
Post # 2
I feel your pain – been with my bf for almost 4 years as well and WAITING! I have found that keeping as busy as you can works best, keeps your mind slightly off it! I have started to go to the gym more, work more and do more with friends as well as hang out with him a lot.. then I’m so tired at night I just go to sleep and don’t think too much lol
Post # 3
I don’t understand why people have to wait to be engaged. Either you are engaged or your not. You do not need a ring to be engaged. I say if you want to marry this guy ask him to marry you? They make engagement rings for guys called management rings.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2015 - Laguna Hills, CA
bekmarie41: The best way to relax is to stop thinking about it too much 🙂 I know its hard! Try to focus on things that don’t have anything to do with marriage/engagement. Whenever people would ask me why I wasn’t engaged yet or why hasn’t he proposed.. I would say “Oh it will happen” with a smile & then change the topic and talk about other great things happening in my life.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2015 - Laguna Hills, CA
Bored6: Management ring? Lol I have never heard of that. Ladies just need to be patient, and you are right you don’t technically need to wait if both of you want to get married and he doesn’t have the ring yet. But* if he is saving up for a ring & planning a proposal.. allow him to have his moment. 🙂
Post # 6
If the ring is the only reason why you are not engaged why not buy a stand in ring (cheap cz ring or silver ring)? You can get engaged and then save up the money for a ring and wedding in the near future. Im not from the US but reading some comments here on the forum it really seems that having a big expensive ring is more important than the engagement itself and that if you dont have a huge diamond to show of you are not engaged.
Im from Europe and most of the engagement rings here are plain bands. Most people would never spend 5000+ dollars a for a ring. I hope im not offending anyone but the engagement should be valued more than a piece of jewelry.
Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that he doesnt need to buy an expensive ring and that you could be engaged with a symbolical ring or even without a ring and save up the money later. <br /><br />
Post # 7
loveofmylifemay2015: I feel the same way you do; I would love to have just a plain band, or maybe a pearl ring which is my birthstone (and less expensive than diamond) or even no ring at all. But my boyfriend has it in his head that he has to buy a nice ring. Not 5000+ or anything, but more than a few hundred at least. He thinks people would judge us if I didn’t have a nice ring (which may be true, but that’s their problem, not ours). He is very traditional and wants to wait to be engaged until he can “show that he can provide”, even though we both will have careers and support each other, but he still wants to do some things the traditional way. Too bad for me. Ugh.
Post # 8
I am in the same position. Boyfriend or Best Friend is about to graduate college. I pushed and pushed and pushed. He finally put a ring on layaway, which I’m happy about but my friends think he only bought it “because you pushed him”,unevenness though I know he would’ve eventually bought it on his own
Post # 9
He took so long buying it because he thought he needed a REALLY expensive one to look better than my friends. Since they got proposed to after 2.5 years and we are almost at 6 years I guess he thought he already “looks like a bad BF” but finally I convinced him to buy affordable
Post # 10
We are the same age. It will be 5 years in Dec and we both graduate in May. We started looking at rings in January. It was really hard because every girl I worked with was younger than me and already engaged and combined their relationships we’re even half the time I had been with my SO. My best friend got engaged and I was Maid/Matron of Honor for her wedding. It may seem like it’s never going to happen, but it will. I had to constantly remind myself, that I should not be jealous of the girls I worked with because their relationships were shit. Literally, none of them are still engaged. I understand that he wants to buy you and ring and he thinks it should be nice. Have you considered a moissanite? You get a lot more bang for you buck. Also, we’ve been engaged for 1.5 months now. We designed my ring and it was about 8k, but it was not ready when he proposed. It’s still not ready. He proposed with a $40 cz from berricle and no one knows the difference. Well the people who actually know me, know that it is not my real ring, but strangers are always telling me it is gorgeous. Point being, you don’t need an expensive ring to be engaged because people don’t give a shit how much it cost. They will look at your hand and know you are engaged and say congrats, then they will go on about their day. Just enjoy this time of waiting, because you really will miss it.
Here’s my stand in: