How to be polite about not inviting people to the wedding

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MrsRoberts52:  This is when the social version of the little white lie comes into play.

” I’m sorry, we are not able to include everyone we would like to invite.” repeat, repeat, repeat

Don’t give a reason- budget, room size etc. That just leaves the door open for them to solve that problem.

Post # 3
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

MrsRoberts52:  My STD’s went out and i got bombarded with questions mform co-workers because a few co-workers i’m actualyl frinds with outside of work got invited. I just told them with the limited space the venue has (175 seated)  and the large about of family 100 people nall toghther with 75 of them flying in form out of town we had to limit the amount of non family members we could invite. when I put it that way they understand.

Post # 4
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Say as little as possible. Hopefully you won’t have to say anything at all. If they have any dignity they wouldn’t dream of bringing it up with you. 

Post # 5
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

julies1949:  yes amazing tip ! We are having a small wedding… As FI and I are paying fully for the wedding.  I always wanted a small wedding… So when I got hit up by my partners parents about why so and so and so and so all there friends were not invited I said that we needed to keep the guest list small as it was what we could afford…. Well that opened a can of worms as they sarted asking price per head and suggesting they would pay for just their friends to attend… (Pay for nothing else which is fine but paying to invite all their friends who I don’t want there ! As I want an intimate wedding with very close ppl) well it bacame so awkward and I kept saying sorry we can’t accommodate them and they kept saying what’s the problem we will pay for them all …. Well I wish I just said what a pp said which is I am sorry we cannot accommodate everyone we wanted to invite. …. Way simpler….that way u are not opening up the can of worms I have

Post # 6
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Stick to your guns!

If they mention it, then I would say “We’re actually doing something low-key and small with family”….if they keep on, just look at them in silence.  Miss. Manners has taught me that’s very powerful.

So sorry!

Post # 7
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m perfecting ‘We wanted very small and intimate weddings so it’s just our huge families and very few close friends”. 

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