Post # 1
Going undercover for this question. i was dating a guy for a long time who literally blew my mind in bed. He was adventerous, spontaneous, dominating, and a bit kinky, which I loved. Unfortunately, that relationship ended a while ago and I’ve been dating someone new for about six weeks. He’s super attractive and definitely good in bed, but he’s a bit boring compared to my ex. I casually mentioned a few things I’d like to try with him, but so far, he’s not taking the bait and continues to do the same things in bed. He’s very content with plain “vanilla” sex, and I think he’s trying to be respectful of me, despite my hints that I want him to be more aggressive and have his way with me. Sexual compatibility is really important to me, so I want to try and experiment to see if he will loosen up a little.
Any tips or ideas? I know I should just have an honest discussion with him, but I’m a little afraid of how he will react.
Post # 3
well…. it depends on what do you want.
i think that if take the lead and be the dominant one, giving him rough sex, maybe he’ll loosen up a bit.
Since i dont know exactly what you want i dont know what to say
maybe ask him to do it harder and scream “spank me” or something *blush*
Post # 4
What have you mentioned to him that you wanna try? Different positions may be a good place to start. Maybe doggy or you on top? This would be good to ease into things. Do you like porn? Maybe watch some videos with him and see what gets him going 😉
Post # 5
When I met my ex he only had 3 partners his first and 2 marriages he was 14 years older than me. I of course was very experienced sexually and I told him that I am not into boring sex and I need sponatenity as well as variety. In the beginning he was shy but when I started doing things to him he never experienced before he started opening up. To make a long story short we started watching porn together and I would make suggestions about what that could possibly feel like or I would like to try this or that. He started making suggestions and this established our new sex life. We broke up 5 years ago and I met my FI and the rest is history.
Post # 6
maybe he’s just not comfortable doing anything yet because it has only been 6 weeks?
Post # 7
@best10612: This was my first thought!
You can’t know each other very well after only 6 weeks. I would still be holding back if I was him because it would be hard to be very open about what was ok by you and what wasn’t.
If you really can’t wait until further down the track you are going to have to have an actual sit down conversation about what you want and how far you want it to go so that he knows exactly what you are comfortable with.