- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I have a bridesmaid who had been my friend since we were 9. I’m finding that the things I say to her about my wedding are going in one ear and out the other… and she’s beginning to step on other bridesmaid’s toes.
Examples: I told her I was engaged, the very first thing she said to me “when can I plan your bridal shower?” I don’t want to think about that now!
For my engagment party, I told her there was a set menu and that the party was a gift from my FSIL. She asked if she could bring a dessert (which really hurt FSIL’s feelings), and is on my case about vegetarian options (we’re trying but there’s no guarentee, I have nothing to do with planning the party but she just keeps asking me).
When I invited her to my engagement dinner (and explained it’s just family and friends), she asked if my FI was going to have any single guy friends there so she could ’embarass herself and be my entertainment for the night.’ I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just said nothing.
She’s kind of stressing me out with the things she’s saying. I think it’s because my other BMs are very laid-back people who know more what I’d like this wedding to be (low-key, please!)
I’m very patient (she has ADD and can be inconsiderate sometimes) but sometimes I am not patient, and I don’t want to get mad at her for trying to help! I just wasn’t planning a major role for her in my wedding prep… and even though I don’t think that’s what she wants I think that’s better for her (since she’s a full-time grad student who is working three part-time jobs)
Is there a nice way I can kind of tell her to relax a bit?
I was thinking I could email her (would be easier than trying to explain this to her) and sort of give an outline of what I expect her to be there/ do for this wedding, and let her know that she’s off the hook for everything else? I mentioned that to my sister (MOH) she requested I send HER one too, since she’s never been in (or to!) a wedding before.
I could also do those quirky little “bridesmaid kits,” since my engagement party is this coming Friday. That way everyone gets one… but it also only gives me a week to get something together that doesn’t suck :/
Not really a major problem, I know!
She’s so excited, it really is great!
It just stresses me out for some reason.