(Closed) how to choose a MOH??

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If it’s THAT tough, i’d just not have a maid of honor and have 3 bridesmaids. You don’t have to pick someone for MOH just because they picked you, either. Just tell them you couldn’t choose a MOH because you love them all so much and you don’t want them to feel unequally important. Do all your bridesmaids know each other well enough so that they’ll collaborate well together?

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree.  And you can divvy up the typical MOH responsibilities and honors.   You have a small wedding party.  I think it would be considered an honor just to be a BM at all.  And when you give them BM gifts, like jewelry or something, maybe you can give each of them something different and personal, instead of all the same thing.  Or make their bridal bouquets a little different.  Just an idea.

Post # 5
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I agree with the others. And if signing the license gets in the way of things, could you have someone else do it?  A sister or future sister in law or aunt or cousin or…?  If it’s a family member rather than a friend, that could also remove the need to choose one of the bridesmaids for that duty.

Post # 6
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I am going to have 5 BM’s, 4 are my closest friends, one is a second cousin who has been my "big sister" since we first met when I was 12 & she was 21. I am going to ask my second longest friend be my MOH because she lives here in MA. My oldest friend I’ve known since I was 9, but the MOH I met when I was 12 (and moved to the US) and oldest friend still lives in Ireland so I know for her being an MOH it would be more difficult and I know she’ll understand. (I was engaged previously a few years ago but cancelled the wedding 2 months out so we’ve already had a practice run LOL).

Did you meet all of your friends at the same time or one first then the next? I do like what the other Bees said, you don’t NEED to have an MOH if they are all so close & someone might be hurt by you picking one. I just chose based on how long I’ve known each of my girls.

@Tanya – My longest BFF is Tanya too! I love your name!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the others- best not to choose one if you’re not sure.  You can always end up choosing one later in the process, especially if a girl really steps up during the planning or has the time for the extra responsibilities.  Since some of your girls are married, you can also choose a maid and matron of honor, but that might leave the two girls you don’t choose out of the mix.

Post # 8
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it’s that difficult to choose and you don’t want to pick straws or anything, make them all BMs so no one gets for feelings hurt and explain to them why.  Then, maybe someone else can just sign the marriage license? 

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