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i just asked who i wanted. i ended up with six BMs and 2 GMs. and this was when my wedding was going to be 30 guests max including bridal party! in the end, i have 17 guests, 4 BMs (2 cant come) and 1 GM.
so i say, ask who you want to be up there with you regardless of number.
that's what I'm leaning towards. I told my fiance I don't want to not have them there the day of... I just don't want to get in over my head, you know?
it sounds like you each have six people that you *want* to be up there with you on your big day, and the only thing holding you back are the "rules" (by the way, I'd never even heard of that rule before, hehe). but yes, I guess more people can often mean more drama - so choose wisely and just make sure that those are people who will truly support you.
Is your wedding date really 10/20/12? If so, I'd wait a while (probably until after the first of the year). There are so many posts about brides choosing their BMs too soon and all the drama that ensues. I've also had experiences with this, so if I could do it over again, I'd wait until closer to the wedding to choose mine then I originally did.
If you decide to wait, during this time, you can pay special attention to the little details of each friendship, and I think when the time comes for you to choose, you'll know for sure who you want to pick.
I'm stumped about the BM/GM situations so you're not alone. My boy only has two friends he's actually close with and I'm torn between three friends, his sister, my niece, my cousin and my sisters. I really want each side to be even though..sigh.
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so, I have always thought I'd have four bridesmaids (just how I imagined the big day in my head), but the time has come to choose, and I can't do it!
I've asked three so far... my sister (MOH), his sister and a close friend (BMs). I have three other friends I'd like to ask, but I can't choose between them! if I ask all of them, I'll have six.
so, do I keep the three I have? ask another friend who isn't one of the three? or ask all three?
fiance is fine with three, four, or six. if we keep it at three or four, he won't get to ask everyone he'd like to ask... he has six also.
we are going to try and keep our number of guest at 200. I know it's 1 attendant for every 50 people, but I think it's okay to not follow this "rule" exactly.