How to choose maid/matron of honor between two sisters?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@rel318:  I would have one matron and one maid of honor, and then split the “traditional” duties. One stands closest and walks down the aisle last, one does the speech, etc.

Post # 4
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would have two, and have them switch off “duties.”  One takes care of the shower, one takes care of the bachelorett party.  One could walk first in the wedding procession, one could sit next to you at the head table and deliver the first speach (assuming you are doing a head table) 

I also am glad that your sisters nixed the idea of having a competition.  I think that there is no good way that could have gone. 

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have a younger sister and an older sister. 

I was my older sister’s MOH, and I chose my younger sister to be mine. Perhaps my younger sister will choose my older sister and close the loop?

I think that you should pick the person who you feel comfortable sharing everything with as your MOH. The one you tell secrets to, the one you don’t feel ashamed of said secrets with, and the person you know you will never lose touch with.

If that’s the friend, great. If that’s one or the other of your sisters, also great.

It’s only important that you feel close to the person and you feel comfortable with them being your main witness to your marriage.

Post # 6
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think having them compete for MOH wouldnt work out as well as you think, even if neither of them are really pressuring you to be MOH, it can’t feel good to “lose”.

Theres no reason you can’t have multiple MOHs, even if they put in differing amounts of effort. One of my bridesmaids does more wedding-related activities than my MOH, so honestly, its just a title, not an indicator of effort. If I had a sister, I would have had 2 MOHs.

If I were in your position, I would pick both sisters, and whatever effort (if any) they can put into your wedding, be thankful for. And if you’re worried about how to have the processional for the ceremony, why not have them walk down together? There’s no reason you can’t shake things up a bit and have whoever you want, walk in whatever order you want.

ETA: Along with that, you can have 3 MOHs too, and have your friend also. I also like the idea of letting all of them split duties between them. 

 

Post # 7
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would have both.  I know my sister is planning on having a maid and matron (me the matron – my neice the maid).

Post # 8
Member
3476 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Do NOT make them compete for it!!!  That can go wrong so badly (and sorta takes away from the honor of it if you are forcing them to compete for the privilege of being it…)

I’d split the duties: Signing the license (if needed), walking before you (although they could walk in together), even standing next to you, making the toast, etc.  A friend just did that, and she had one matron, one maid, just as you’d be able to do.

Post # 9
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

Oh wow the competition thing smacks of drama! Maybe not intentionally but it could turn ugly fast!

I had a similar deliemma and chose to have no MOH.  I have 5 BM and all of them are equal and have split all the “duties” as it works out (some live here, some live away).  My FI has two brothers in a similar situation as you, so he did the same.  Some people seem confused at no MOH/ Best man but it’s working out really well for us.

Post # 10
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

@kay01:  +1

As I just posted below, we split the “duties” between the close family members (signing register, speeches ect).  So both brothers get an important role and no feelings were hurt.

Post # 12
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@rel318:  Ugh, the competition idea sounds awful.  No wonder they don’t want to do it!

I would chose both a maid and matron of honor and split up the duties.

Post # 14
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@rel318:  I have two sisters and they both had two maids of honor (us) and I’m having them both be mine as well. They shared planning equally and no one was more important than the other!

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If you really do have a preference, don’t feel bad. Just choose whoever you’re closest with. It’s your day and your sisters should understand.

 

If you don’t have a preference, I agree with everyone else that you could split the duties. One doesn’t have to be the “main” MOH in this situation.  MOHs have a TON of duties and this might make it much easier on both of them. They’ll probably appreciate it.

 

I would never make someone a MOH who I was afraid would bail. That’s too much stress on you.  

Post # 16
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My sisters and I worked this out when we were kids. My sisters are 4 and 6 years younger than me. 4 is mine, 6 is hers, and I am 6’s. No hard feelings and no stress 🙂

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