- 5 years ago
I am a lurker, but I have decided to come to you because I need your support! I have been with my SO now for 1.5 years. I am 25, and currently I am in graduate school studying to be a chaplain. My SO is also an ordained minister, and he currently works as an editor for a journal. I could not feel more blessed in our relationship. Together we have a solid foundation of love, of open and honest communication, of mutuality and equality, of vulnerability and trust, and of deep spiritual connection. Though we have joked about marriage and a future together for a long time, in the past few weeks we have now have set a timeline for when we want to get engaged and married. According to this timeline, we would get engaged sometime this year (likely this summer, though I can’t help but hope for earlier!), and we would either get married during spring break next year at the end of March or during the summer after I graduate.
The reason why I come to you now, Bees, is because I need your help! Now having a clear timeline in hand has made me become a mushy mess! It is all just too exciting that I feel that I can’t contain it! Like word vomit, all sorts of mushy wedding talk, or engagement talk, or future talk just comes out of my mouth before I can contain it. I am a big believer in honest communication. But now that I have honestly and openly communicated my needs and my hopes and now that I am clear where my SO stands and together we have come to an agreement, I do not want to keep harping on this one note. I never bring it up in a nagging way. It is always in an overly excited and enthusiatic dreamy way. But I strive to be a well-rounded person and hope to maintain some feminist strength even when I feel so mushy, so I do not want all of this mushy talk to define all of our conversations together. And I do not want to put any undue pressure on my SO who, though he is completely on board, is still struggling a bit to wrap his mind around the fact that engagement and marriage are no longer distant and abstract dreams but are very soon becoming very present and real realities.
So Bees, how did you handle it? How did you contain your excitement, allowing both your SO and yourself to breath a bit? How did you hold in all of that mushy talk that seems so eager to come out?