How to convince my FI's siblings to attend our wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Shkragoldfish:  Aw man. I’m sorry you are going through this. The best advice I can offer is to lower your expectations and not take any of the sibs decisions to heart. Asking people to choose sides is really hard on everyone.

Post # 6
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Shkragoldfish:  So they are definitely adults. I still have little advice but I’ve got to think that one of them will have the balls to show up, if not more. I think it’s a load of crap for them to be cowering under their parents’ wishes instead of being independent thinkers and supporting their brother’s wedding. BS!

Post # 8
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Sadly you cannot alter other people’s behaviour but only your own.  These siblings, unlike your FH, haven’t yet plucked up the courage to break away from their parents.

Talk to them by all means.  Be honest and open about your hopes and worries.  Be encouraging and welcoming, and then leave it entirely up to them.  They are adults and have to make their own decisions.  You cannot control their decisions or behaviour.  If one of them turns up for your wedding then this is a bonus.

Even if these siblings are not brave enough to break away fom their parents now they may summon up the courage to do so in the future so don’t give up hope but do stand firm.  You and your FH will just have to simply get on with the rest of your lives.  Think positive and resolve to create a marriage full of love and honesty and happiness.



Post # 10
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Hi! I just read the short version of your post ( I will read the long version of it also) but as soon as i saw the short version I thought SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS GOING THROUGh THIS!

honestly, this is whats happening to me at the moment!

My FIs sbilings are a utter nightmare, none of them work and his mother has NO money either so evne getting them to the wedding is a nightmare, ( so we have to pay for them)  but they are the kind of people who would turn around the day before and say yeah i’m not going , they are very argumentive/bitchy and lazy so therefore them coming to the wedding is so questionable as they have an attutide problem towards me and their own brother. 

What im learning so far is that you cant FORCE or persade anyone to attned your wedding, for me it like its we have to PAY for them anyway, but I agree at the fact there  would be doom and gloom for me also possibly. 

I read your update and I hope they dont break their promises of attneding, i think i have the same issue, or will do as my wedding isnt till enext year but im already feeling the tension and issues. I hope they don’t turn around last minute and say they are not attending.

I undestand the upset and stress all this can cause, im feeling it already. you want your Fi family to attned, its a one off event getting married nad people should do as much as they can to attend!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Mrstobe26.
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