(Closed) How to cope with a very jealous friend/maybe future sister in law

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything you can do to make this situation better. Clearly she’s got issues. It sounds like she’s highly confrontational, so talking back when she makes snide remarks probably won’t turn out well. I would just try to stay away from her as much as possible. If her wedding planning interferes with yours, have your Fiance talk to his brother. Hopefully she’ll calm down if/when they get married. 

Post # 4
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have the glory of having a Future Sister-In-Law like this. Pretty positive she had a massive freak out when we got engaged before her and then forced her bf (who has stated he never wanted to get married) to propose. And now whenever we see them they like to talk non stop about their wedding (which isnt for like 3 years). I try to ignore her. She has always been less than friendly toward me and my Fiance. There is some weird competition between us and them and i try to ignore it. Her problem not mine. She is setting them up for divorce since they have completely different interest and lifestyles and no one knows why they are getting married. 

Post # 5
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@zaza1234:  I know you say you can’t ignore her, but that’s your best bet.  She’s your FI’s brothers problem, keep it that way.  When you need to vent about her, come here.

If she forces a proposal and plans a wedding before yours, so be it.  My Dad always told me “Life’s natural consequences will catch up with people.”  Take solace in that.

Post # 6
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I would think another way to sort of deal with her is to keep most of your wedding plans a SECRET. Talk to your Fiance about your concerns and have him be on board. Be very vague, maybe even talk about things you’re not actually doing. I think its actually better that she wants to have her wedding before you, rather than right after…Let her have her tempter tantrum wedding before you (if it even happens) and then going up to your day you are stress free!! And if you are keeping your plans under wraps, yours will certainly have a different feel and vibe. Hopefully she chooses a date thats not too close to yours (if both brothers share a lot of out of town guests. I know everyone gets ONE day, but it can be hard on Out of Town guests)

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. It must be hard because I’m sure you so excited and she’s being truly awful. It can be hard too, but don’t forget that plenty of people are seeing this behavior. She’s only making herself look terrible!!

Post # 7
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Also, I’m struggling to wrap my head around her bursting into angry tears and slapping her SO! I understand it can be so so so hard to be waiting for an extended period of time, but SERIOUSLY, who acts out like that after they are 5?!?! Serious problems.

Post # 8
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It was the total opposite in my situation. We decided to get married after only being together a year, whereas FHs brother has been with his girlfriend for 8 years without a proposal in sight. As soon as we were about to announce our engagement, they finally announced theirs. We waited a few months to announce, kept it off FB etc, so as not to rain on their parade, especially since our wedding is going to be before theirs. Luckily, they were both over the moon about it and she and I exchange wedding ideas/advice.

Have you spoken to your FH about this? Or his brother? Unfortunately, when planning a wedding there is ALWAYS someone who is going to be irrational and make you feel like this. Just avoid her as much as you can, and if she starts babbling, take solace in the fact your fiance proposed because he loves you and wants to marry you and not because he got pressured by a jealous, wedding obsessed partner. 

Post # 9
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@JemmaWRX:  I totally agree with your dad!  He is so right!

OP, just ignore your future Future Sister-In-Law.  Keep planning your wedding and enjoy this time.  The fact that she’s forcing marriage onto her Fiance isn’t good.  It will likely not come to frution, or it will, but it will end in disaster.  My BIL has some sort of weird, insatiable urge to compete with Darling Husband.  Darling Husband and I got engaged in February 2011.  Once our wedding became the talk of the town, BIL couldn’t handle it.  He went out and found the first, easy girl he could.  Married her in the courthouse, three weeks exactly before DH’s and my wedding.  He had only been with the girl for two months!

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