(Closed) How to de-uglify the dreaded Bolero?

posted 9 years ago in Accessories
Post # 3
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

Have you checked etsy? How long do the sleeves have to be? How about something like this:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23050695&ref=sr_list_9&&ga_search_query=satin+bolero&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes%5B%5D=tags&includes%5B%5D=title

or this (not so much the material pattern, but the design, I’m sure you could have them remake it in what ever color you choose):
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25200777

Post # 4
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

Your dress is so pretty! I hate to see it covered up! Is this particular officiant a MUST? I don’t think that I would comprise on this one (but that’s just me!)  If you HAVE to do something perhaps you can take it to a seamstress and have her embroider and bead the same pattern that’s on the bottom of your dress around the cuff of the sleeves. I don’t thing that you should put anything around the front because it would just interfere with the pretty front details on your dress. Are you at least allowed to take it off for the reception?

Post # 5
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Could you find some accent fabric such as the lace or ribbon on your dress to add to the sleeves or colar?  Could you add a fabulous vintage broach?  Just some suggestions…

I hope you can rock out the bolero for only the length of your ceremony and then whip it off and helicopter it above your head and shoot it at the pastor’s wife.

OOPS!  Did I say that aloud?  🙂 

Post # 6
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House

Could you have a seamstress shorten the length a little so that doesn’t cover up the ivory sash?  Do the sleeves have to be 3/4" length?  You could shorten them to look like the boleros Mrs. Sushi suggested.  I think a short-sleeved bolero would look better with the dress than a longer sleeved one.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ugh that sucks!!!!!

I have this really cute little black bolero with sequins on the trim I got from Limited a few years ago. It’s like a miniature T-shirt almost. (mine goes to the elbows though). What about that? 

Do you have to wear it to the reception, too? Icky. Shoulders are not exactly the "omg too sexy" thing they used to be, lol. You know feet used to be like this, too?! I feel your pain =( 

Post # 8
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ok….I’m in shock. What business is it of the pastors wife what you wear? You’re not getting married in her church, (nor is it her husbands; it’s the congregation’s! My opinion) you’re getting married in your friends backyard. Wow, this is ridiculous!!! I would find someone else to marry me. I consider myself a Christian/spiritual person, but this is why we are getting married outdoors, by a neutral officiant. Ok…..I’ll get off my soapbox now.

I would check on etsy, I bet you can find something that will work better or have someone make something that will go better with your dress.

I’m still shocked.  That dress is in no way revealing. This is gonna bug me all day and it’s not even my wedding……

Post # 9
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

So sorry that you are dealing with this, do you have to have this person marry you? What about having one of your friends or family members get ordained and let them perform your ceremony?

@tessabella76 I completely agree with you!! This type of thing makes me insane as well, like the pastor and his wife are earning brownie points by "making" the bride keep her shoulders covered, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

i’m with you, soapbox ladies. it’s hard to believe this is in (near) boston! and as a pastor-in-training, i get a little frustrated with the whole "pastor’s wife" dynamic… the idea that a minister’s spouse gets some kind of special moral status and say-so about what happens in the church, and has all these special obligations and expectations… um, did the church hire the pastor, or the pastor’s spouse? </rant>

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is having a new pastor even an option? I got the impression it wasn’t. Personally, running my dresses by a pastors’ wife would never fly in my book, but if you want to have this guy marry you I guess you are at their mercy. 

What if you said no to the bolero? He won’t marry you? I would just tell my family "too bad, he said no, so we’re going with so and so from this church" or something like that. 

So if they’re requiring all the extreme modesty, what do your bridesmaids dresses look like? I don’t get it…are all the guests required to cover their shoulders, too? Ick. I was under the impression "temple style" dresses were only really required for Mormon brides, some Jewish temples, etc.  But you’re Baptist! I haven’t been to a Baptist wedding yet, where the bride has had to wear a "modest" dress.

Post # 13
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House

If finding a new offiant is out of the question…could you just do a satin wrap instead?  Like this:

http://www.wraporshrug.co.uk/

Post # 14
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i think a short sleeve bolero will look better with your dress! i wore a bolero to my wedding, i had it made really simple, short sleeve and with a short length so it will not cover up my dress beading:

Post # 15
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

If possible, a short sleeve bolero would look much better. I would also suggest finding one with a higher neck (think dracula cape for lack of a better term but with ruffles). It will hide the halter strap making it look like the dress was meant to be worn with the bolero.

Definitely check etsy, there are plenty on there that will work. Good luck!

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