Post # 1
My sister and I have not ever really gotten along. She’s given me a hard time at different stages of my entire life. Sometimes she’s amiable and we get along fine. Other times she’s judgmental and a bully. I’d say the year is split into 6 months friends, 6 months foes.
That said – I do not expect her to play nice during the wedding or the weeks preceding. I’d like her to be in family pictures, yet wouldn’t be surprised if she refused. I plan to invite her to any family shower that’s held and inform her of when the family pictures will be.
I say I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t attend, because she was upset at my brother at the time he got married and didn’t attend.
I guess I’d love any advice from anyone else dealing with a difficult sister. My mother always tells me to include her in wedding planning – but that’s not going to happen – as the little she’s been involved with caused me exponential amounts of stress as she negated every decision Fiance and I made.
I guess I just need to tread lightly and take each thing as it comes. Any advise anyone could give is much appreciated. TIA
Post # 3
I guess the upside, if there is one, is you know this going in to things, so in some ways you can set the bar really low and maybe you’ll be surprised (but don’t count on it). I’ve found that it has been easier on me to only talk about the wedding when asked by my sister. It’s easier to not be disappointed or hurt when you don’t offer things up to be criticized (I know this is being pessimistic, but I’m there right now with my sisters). As to showers and photos and the like, all you can do is give her the time and dates and cross your fingers. I hope it goes better for you!
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2011 - Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country Club
Oh man, Oracle, I feel like I could’ve written this post myself!
My sister though is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (which, of course, seems like an awful idea because she is completely uninterested in the wedding, and we barely get along a lot of time too).
I don’t have to worry about her not attending the wedding though, because she’ll jump at the chance to get her hair done and get a new dress. (Even though she’s shot down every dress pick I’ve liked. She freaked out when two of them had pockets and I was like “Umm, they’re J Crew, they’re fine.)
I don’t have any advice because I haven’t figured out a way to better my own situation, but I want to tell you to hang in there! It can be so hard dealing with family members because you can just find new ones like you can bad friends. Sisters can be especailly hard because so many different people have such good realtionships with their sibs (I wish I did)! At least you’re not alone! Good luck!
Post # 5
Dont feel so bad, sisters can really suck sometimes. Even though they have the same blood as us, some things they do to us we would never imagine doing to them. Me and my only sister, she’s older 2yrs, have been pretty close before I set my wedding date. We talked on the phone everyday and was always there for each other financial and emotionally. As soon as I started planning my wedding she started making stories up to my older brother about there being drama in my wedding planning which there wasnt, then pulled my nephew out of my wedding party, dropped out of being my Maid/Matron of Honor via email, and now she has rsvp’s ‘no’. It hurts because theres no reason why she would do this but out of jealousy. She got married last August and I was her Bridesmaid or Best Man and did everything for her, everything she asked me to. And now its my time to shine and she’s too selfish to support me, I will never forget this and I have decided now to erase her from my life
I refuse to allow toxic to be in my life, its not worth it, just because we’re family does not mean I have to deal with you!